For Twitter's eighth anniversary, they recently launched a tool that allows you to go back in time and read your very first tweet. For most of us, our first tweet was quite a few years ago (as anyone who hasn't signed up for Twitter by 2014 is a fucking dinosaur who has let the world pass them by), so it was fun to go back and see what inspiring messages we had for the world years ago when we first started experimenting with this brave new world.
Here's my first tweet...
OH HOLY FUCK, IT'S TWITTER.— jer (@JerMeansWell) June 4, 2008
After taking a look at my own, I decided to see what some of the other Battle of California folks had to say upon joining the Twitterverse.
Is this the end of Wiki-Sharks? http://sbnation.com/e/1383716— Megalodon (@MegalodonBOC) August 13, 2010
Megalodon's first tweet was of course dumb and boring because he is dumb and boring.
Ryan Dunn, being a poor person, complains about being poor and unable to afford cable or full priced books:
Streaming Kings hockey cause I got no cable. And reading Patton Oswalt. Oh Borders, if you could only go out of business more I'd read more— Ryan Dunn (@SharksGotMyLeg) March 5, 2011
Earl Sleek got off to a much better start, acquiring followers and fame before even bothering to tweet:
Wait, I have three followers before I've even learned how this silly Twitter works? Suckers...— Earl Sleek (@earlsleek) July 1, 2009
Rudy Kelly really had this Twitter thing fingured out right from the start, jumping immediately to the more appropriate uses of the platform:
@wyshynski I'm going to make my first tweet to say the following: screw you.— Rudy Kelly (@rudykelly) July 19, 2010
Spade tweeted about the grammar class he was taking at the time...
working but not really— Spade (@spade_in_victor) February 25, 2009
And founder of Battle of California James Mirtle was too hopped up on crack to figure out how the system even worked:
trying to figure out how to use Twitter— James Mirtle (@mirtle) October 30, 2008
As you can see, we are all very exciting people.
Here are the official team Twitter accounts, which weren't exciting at all.
San Jose insists that everything receive its undo fanfare, and its first tweet is no exception:
Welcome to the Official Twitter Page of the San Jose Sharks. More info on the Twitter feed on the Sharks site soon. http://sharks.nhl.com.— San Jose Sharks (@SanJoseSharks) April 1, 2009
And the Los Angeles and Anaheim had equally boring launches...
Ducks win 4-3 over Colorado! At home vs. Buffalo on Monday. Tickets still available. Go Ducks!— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) January 31, 2009
Kings post-practice weight work at Toyota Center.— LA Kings (@LAKings) January 27, 2009
Finally, I leave you with this final first tweet, offering some timeless inspiration...
Balls.— Battle of California (@BattleofCali) December 19, 2012
Some fans get upset about something and tweet about it.