Kings Gameday: Pack a Fat One

Warning: May turn you into a bear with disgusting ass shit in your mouth

Game seven. Things are intense. And losing will hurt. Thankfully, some dip will take the edge off

First, an intro from Megalodon...

I've always been a man who inspired others. In college, for example, I encouraged Rudy to let us try out pepper spray on his face, with hilarious results. More recently, Jer and Dunn were struggling with ideas for their Game 7 gameday posts, and they were being really annoying about it and pestering me to share some of my wonderful and brilliant ideas.

This is their punishment.

At Batttle of California, we have a rich history of discussing the horrors of chewing tobacco. One of them will experiencing these horrors. After tonight's Game 7 decides the winner of the series, the fan of the losing team will have to try dip, for all Battle of California readers to witness.


At my last job I worked, the one in minor league baseball, there was a lot of chewing tobacco. Otherwise known as "dip". A lot of people in the office dipped. Every guy at least. Every guy except for me, that is. I've done my fair share of...frowned upon substances, but I could never bring myself to try dip. Even in my drunkest states I would turn it down. And naturally I was frequently referred to as a "bitch". So with this bet it's a chance to turn things around. I guess. There really isn't a silver lining with this. I figure, if things are grim enough and I lose this god awful wager, I may as well "be a man" and not a, well...


Anyways, this guy seems like a real pro. He has suggested Grizzly Wintergreen. Everyone I ever seen packing their mouths full of tobacco have used the same. Gum has a wintergreen flavor! That's pretty much the same product anyways. What could go wrong?


Best of all, this may be my answer to those lady problems I've been having. Girls love a guy who looks tough. A guy who is a rebel. Dipping solves all of that because you clearly are a guy who could give a shit about any oral cancer and partakes in what most everyone acknowledges is a horrendous habit.


Totally excited to try this line out.


Preview_medium
Prediction:
I shoot myself.


X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Join Battle of California

You must be a member of Battle of California to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Battle of California. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9355_tracker