Trade Em For Nothing by Dire Staces

Ray Ratto and Brodie Brazil reading a Kevin Kurz article - Dire Straits

Lots and lots of things happened yesterday. Alex Stalock extended, safe for now. Mike Brown extended, probably #ForeverAShark. Drew Remenda got shit canned. It was announced that the Sharks are on their way to a partial rebuild but it looks as if they may blow this team the fuck up. Also, the Sharks could get moved because even their TV deals are shorky. Now that I have your attention, here's a parody song!



(Play the instrumentals while you read so you can sing along)

"Trade Em For Nothing"

Now look at them Oilers that's the way you do it
You play the hockey on the NBC
Jumbo ain't workin' trade's the way you do it
Trade em for nothin' and rebuild for free
Marleau ain't workin' trade's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya Jeremy Roenick ain't dumb
Maybe get a lil booze on your lil finger
Maybe drink booze til your numb

We gotta instill leadership qualities
Unclog conorary arteries
We gotta move these commentators
We gotta move these Finnish goalies

See the little 4th liner with the mustache and the grit
Yeah buddy that's his own blood
That little 4th liner got his own jet airplane
That little 4th liner he's a millionaire

We gotta instill leadership qualities
Unclog conorary arteries
We gotta move these commentators
We gotta move these Finnish goalies

I shoulda learned to play the defense
I shoulda learned to play the right wing
Look at that Burish, he got it stickin' in the room
Man we could've had a cup run
And Randy's up there, what's that? Crying noises?
Buyin' out the Havlat nah it's a fantasy
Sharks ain't workin' trade's the way you do it
Trade your captain for nothin' get your rebuild for free

We gotta instill leadership qualities
Unclog conorary arteries
We gotta move these commentators
We gotta move these Finnish goalies, lord

Now Sharks ain't workin' trade's the way you do it
You play the hockey on the NBC
Jumbo ain't workin' trade's the way you do it
Trade em for nothin' and your rebuild's for free
Trade em for nothin' and rebuild for free




*S/T to Dire Straits for "letting me" change their homophobic song into a hockey song
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