Campbell breaks leg, completes successful PK. Rask lets off steam at morning skate. Jagr outbattled Malkin to set up Bergeron's GWG. Krug practiced "Hero Puck Skills." CBC HNIC opening video "Karma Police." The Onion outs "hundreds" of gay NHLers
The Onion nails it again as only they can... Hat tip to Chris Rico.
From The Onion: 10/16/11 Nation's Untalented Fast Wide Receivers Mourn Passing Of Only Employer OAKLAND, CA—Shortly after Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis passed away last week, scores of the nation's incompetent but extremely fast wide receivers came forward to mourn the loss of their only employer. "I feel like the last of a generation," Raiders wideout Darrius Heyward-Bey told reporters Friday, stressing how proud he is to be part of a fraternity of lightning-quick but sloppy and stone-handed pass catchers drafted by Oakland who never panned out. "My heart really breaks for all the super-fast kids who can't catch in college and high school right now. Who will draft and ultimately wind up disappointed with them?" The Raiders announced that at halftime of Sunday’s game they will honor Davis for employing most of the NFL’s talentless speedsters over the past 25 years, with Heyward-Bey, Denarious Moore, Jacoby Ford, Louis Murphy, Arman Shields, Chaz Schilens, Johnnie Lee Higgins, Jonathan Holland, Kevin McMahan, Carlos Francis, Johnnie Morant, Doug Gabriel, Ryan Hoag, Ken-Yon Rambo, Jerry Porter, Dameane Douglas, Olanda Truitt, Raghib Ismail, Ron Lewis, Gary Gooden, Mike Alexander, and Larry Shephard all expected to participate. Tim Brown, the only talented fast wide receiver of the Davis era, will not be in attendance. ORIGINAL LINK TO STORY
