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Kings Gameday: Hittin' the Stretch Drive

I'm hungover and feeling bad about how much I enjoy making fun of the people on MTV's Return to Fat Camp, so I'm going to take a look around the NHL and give biased, uninformed opinions. I'll make it up to you guys with a live-blog on Monday, though.

Kids fight while playing hockey, world ends

Honestly, who cares? There's no way they could hurt one another on account of their helmets and gloves, and besides, little kids are indestructible. Those kids could have had machine guns and nobody would have gotten hurt. And so what if the coaches emptied the benches, it teaches the team camaraderie. I wish the two coaches would have fought. I'm more concerned about #9 on the white team for not being able to stand while he's fighting... wait, is that George Parros? They have about the same skill level, anyway.

(Also, do you guys remember when that parent sucker punched a little kid because he was going after his son? I can't find the video, but that was hilarious.)

NHL Decides 6 Games is Enough

One thing that hasn't been covered too much is how this will affect the games on Versus. I'm not going to go through the schedule and actually add it up, but it definitely seems like Versus shows primarily east-coast teams (the Philadelphia Flyers are on more than the California teams combined). If teams from the West are going over to the lesser coast, maybe our teams will get a little more exposure. This would make sense seeing how, you know, the Western Conference is way better than the East. I know this a big disappointment to all you people who love watching the Rangers, but it's good for hockey.

Nikolai Khabibulin is an Idiot

I don't have much to say other than what the fuck. I can pretty much guarantee that if you had told me that there was an NHL player who thought it was a good idea to drink a ton of coffee before playing, I could have told you that he was:

1) Russian.
2) A goalie.
3) Crazy.

My money would have been on Brzygalov, by the way.

Who's Better, Yzerman or Sakic?

I won't speak on the numbers, but I personally think that Steve Yzerman is a god and Joe Sakic is kind of a schmuck. The only reason I have a semi-positive opinion on Sakic is because I usually think about Yzerman when I hear Sakic's name. Joe Sakic is like Steve Yzerman if Yzerman was mortal. Sakic looks like he had a hairlip when he was a kid; Steve Yzerman did this:

Sorry, but it's not close.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-2. Goals by Kopitar, O'Sullivan, Stuart and Steve Yzerman.