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Kings Gameday: It's Fun to Pretend

Los Angeles Kings (15-25-2, thud) vs. Calgary Flames (21-14-7, 5th in West)

7:30 PST, FSN West

The Alexander Ovechkin rumor mill has begun! Will he actually going to be traded? Of course not, he’s Alexander Ovechkin! Still, that’s not preventing some people from speculating on where he might end up if he were traded. The Kings make an attractive option because of our plethora of young talent and this idea that L.A. needs an attraction in order to draw fans. (You know what's a big attraction? Winning.) John Buccigross, the earnest sports writer over at ESPN.com, came up with this trade:

To Washington

Johnathan Bernier
Jack Johnson
Mike Cammalleri
Our #1 Pick

To L.A.

Alexander Ovechkin
Chris Clark
"Top Defensive Prospect"
Their #1 Pick


Now, I love John Buccigross, because I think he’s one of the few people writing today that you can just tell loves hockey, but: are you out of your everloving mind??? This isn’t even that bad of a trade for the Kings; the whole thing doesn’t make any sense. I think a problem people always have when coming up with trade ideas is that they always complicate them too much. I suck at trades too, but let me see if I can simplify it a little.Why swap #1 picks if they’re both going to be high? Just get rid of them both. And the Kings aren’t trading Jack Johnson. If they did, they'd be the just like the Washington Capitals and then what's the point of doing the trade? Get rid of him and the "top defensive prospect" and insert a guy like Lauri Tukonen instead. And get rid of Chris Clark, I don’t want his goofy ass. Now, the trade becomes:

To Washington

Johnathan Bernier
Mike Cammalleri
Lauri Tukonen

To L.A.

Alexander Ovechkin

So the Caps get the eventual replacement to Olaf Kolzig, a young sniper who will probably score around 30 goals a year, and a good forward prospect. They can have someone like Peter Harrold if they want, too. The Kings get Alexander Ovechkin. Now I have no idea if that’s a good trade because I overvalue our own players, but to me that seems as good as Washington is going to get if they really want to trade AO and his contract burden. Put Ovechkin with Kopitar and Brown and you instantly have the third best line in hockey.


Who wouldn't want that on their team?

Of course, this would never happen and it’s kind of stupid to even talk about, but hey, this is a blog and this is what we do. What do you guys think?


***


The Kings play the Calgary Flames tonight. I don’t mind the Flames too much; I think Iginla is a little overrated (although not this year), Dion Phaneuf’s head kind of looks like Jim Carrey’s at the end of Batman Forever, and Mikka Kiprusoff is hilariously inept for a guy who just signed such a big contract, but they have Craig Conroy so I’m cool with them. Still, I hope the Kings beat the shit out of them tonight.

Prediction: There is no shit-beating in Los Angeles tonight. (Well, not at Staples anyway. I don't know what Earl has planned tonight.) Kings lose, 4-2. Goals by Kopitar and our old friend Craig Conroy as a gesture of respect. What a great guy.