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Silver Lining, Anaheim Edition

Hey, Ducks fans. Tough break, huh? I honestly thought you guys would win fairly easily against Dallas, but it looks like the Stars has a little magic left in them yet.* I know the last thing you want to read is gloating from Kings fan (I'll try to keep it to a minimum), but I thought I'd try to cheer you up. Here's why it's a good thing you guys lost.

*Seriously, how the fuck are they good? They have Turco, Zubov and shit. They lose their 2nd best defenseman and get better??? I suspect that Dave Tippett may just be a wizard.

1) It repudiates your "style" of play. Now, I'm not talking about your actual style of play (the one built on 2 scoring lines and a shutdown line), I'm talking about the one made up by idiots and commentators. (But I repeat myself! See what I did there?) This cult that has been built up around Anaheim was getting ridiculous. The Ducks didn't win the Stanley Cup because they fought a lot. They won because they had great goaltending and Sammy Pahlsson. Still, normally reasonable people argued that this was the cause of Anaheim's success and it led to ridiculous sights like Minnesota's infamous Boogaard-Fedoruk-Simon line. People who argued that the Ducks won their Stanley Cup because George Parros fought a lot probably feel like idiots right now, and I'm fucking glad for that.

2) You didn't lose because Selanne and Niedermayer took time off. Those 2 guys were the best 2 players on the ice in that series. Selanne was particularly fucking amazing. Honestly, I was surprised; I don't remember him playing that well since the Paul Kariya days. And honestly, I'm a little saddened that the Ducks lost so early just because we now miss out on Scott Niedermayer's epic beard.

Anyway, now you know that those 2 can still play and you can count on them if they want to come back next year. If those 2 come back you only have to fix 1 thing...

3) You need secondary scoring. The trade of Andy MacDonald really hurt you guys. He hasn't been that great with St. Louis but he and Selanne really clicked for some reason. Why is this supposed to make you feel better? Because I think it's relatively easy to fix. Maxim Afinogenov could probably be had for the Edmonton first-round pick and he would fit perfectly with Selanne. Put Kunitz on that line, Ryan with Getzlaf, and you're set! Of course, maybe you're a Ducks fan who feels the team is fatally flawed. No worries, sugar tits...

4) Edmonton did you a favor. Look ahead to 2011: you have Getzlaf, Kunitz, and Giguere all locked up. You'll probably have Pronger, Perry, Hiller, and Ryan locked up as well. Trade Schneider for some thing, draft wisely this year and you'll be all set to challenge for another Cup in 4 years. Meanwhile, Edmonton fans will be arguing that Penner's career-high 30 goal season was totally worth those 3 picks.

5) Francois Beauchemin isn't that good. Okay, this won't really make you feel better, but I just though it had to be said.

So buck up, pussies. You're not doomed, and you'll probably be pretty good next year. Besides, it could be worse: you could be a Kings fan.