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What's More Boring?

Yesterday was a watershed day in the world of sport, with all 4 major sports in action. Still, I can't help but be depressed at the state of sport in America today. I mean, the hockey was awesome (Carey Price LOL), but I was overall left unfulfilled. The problem is, with the exception of hockey, no other sport is actually entertaining. Here are the three most boring things in sport:

A) The NFL Draft. I mean seriously, between Chris Berman's retarded ramblings and Mel Kiper's ridiculous hair (although I enjoy the daggers Kiper puts into Todd McShay after McShay completely destroys a Kiper opinion), this has to be the shittiest thing on TV, right?

What I'd rather watch:
Matt Schulze in anything ever. ("Hmmm, I like him.")

B) A baseball game. I love Vin Scully, but a mallet couldn't knock me out more effectively than the sound of his voice. I mean seriously, who can actually watch an entire baseball game? It's okay if you're actually doing something constructive with it on in the background, but man alive is it boring.

What I'd rather watch:
That scene with Kathie Bates in About Schmidt (you know which one... ugh...)

C) An NBA playoff game. Now, it's not so boring in and of itself, it's the fabricated passion that bothers me. You'll see some asshole drive the lane, get brushed, immediately fall to the ground holding his pussy, and that's supposed to be entertaining? Sasha Vujacic disgraced Anze Kopitar and the nation of Slovenia today when he took an elbow to the head and fell like someone dropped a bag of hammers on his head. Honestly, who thinks these guys are real competitors?

What I'd rather watch:
A marathon of Small Wonder... although, I'd probably prefer that over most anything.

(God damn do I wish the Kings were good.)