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Don't miss this wildly probable train wreck.

After reading all about the loose cannon, Mark Cuban/Dan Snyder-like possibilities for Len Barrie and the other new Tampa Bay owners, this thing is starting to smell like Washington Redskins.

  • Obviously, there’s the celebrity coach.

It’s hard to judge Barry Melrose with anything but suspicion. He made it as far as the NHL Finals as a coach, but he did have old 9-9 to thank for that. Eventually, he drifted off into ESPN anchorland, without a suitor for more than a decade.
Even if he was a good coach, what are the chances he’ll catch up immediately? Sure, he’s around the game, but now he has to command respect from Michael Jordan, of Hockey.

Here’s the "great" situation Barry is headed into:

  • They already have the eccentric celebrity – new money owner, one of the first of its kind in the NHL. The Lightning feature neo Cuban.

  • Vincent Lecavalier isn’t the Michael Jordan of hockey, but he could be the Lebron James. He’s a young phenom drafted to a semi-embarrassing team (Cavaliers/Lightning) who will always be rumored to leave for their league’s Mecca (New York/Toronto).

  • Second painful Lecavalier fact: lifetime contracts are doomed. Just look at the always-credible WWF. Bret Hart signs a lifetime contract.A year later he’s screwed out of his championship in front of his country which somehow convinces him to break televisions and give a multi-millionaire a black eye.

Every lifetime contract is a disaster. Right, Hitman?

This could very well happen again, only this time it would be real. But the Lightning will probably ruin the fun by locking him up to some outlandish (but only 5-year) contract. Fun killers.

  • Steve Stamkos might be joining a dysfunctional hockey family. Sure, he’s going to be rich in four years. And he’s in Florida, which isn’t a bad place for a 19-year-old to be.

So I guess I can’t feel sorry for him. Still, I wouldn’t blame the kid for pulling a Lindros/Eli Manning.

  • Rick Tocchet. Seriously? If he can get another job, then Marc Crawford shouldn’t sweat it too much.

For these reasons, the Lightning will be one of the teams I’ll be following closely when I get NHL Center Ice.