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Kings Draft Pick Review

Drew Doughty, D- My favorite part of Doughty's game is the fact that he doesn't just control the puck well; he controls the flow of the game. The best part about the Detroit Red Wings is their ability to dictate the way the game goes, to slow it down or speed it up at their will. I haven't seen Doughty nearly enough to make any kind of judgment on his ability but what I hear gives me a very tight feeling in my shorts.

Colton Teubert, D- The guy writes the word "Punish" on his grip. Yep.

Vjateslav Voinov, D- Fuck yes, I love Russians. Voinov is a little on the small side (he's listed at 6'0" but is more likely 5'10" or so), but he's a mean mother fucker and is known as one of the best agitators in the draft. Yeah, he's Russian, but he's expected to come over and play next year in either Juniors or the AHL. Hopefully he can make it up to the big club and give Alexander Frolov someone to talk to. The only downside:

As my brother pointed out, he looks like Roseanne's sister. Kinda like Jordin Tootoo too... wait, fuck, there has to a better way to write that.

Brad Richardson, C/RW- Yeah, I know, he's 23 and we got him in a trade, but I figure he counts. Richardson is a smaller winger with poor speed and a great shot... wait, hold on, he reminds me someone. Anyway, Richardson can play on the penalty kill and will probably find a spot alongside Michal Handzus, who desperately needs someone with a shot on his line. I see a Moulson-Handzus-Richardson line working quite well in the future.

Andrew Campbell, D- Campbell is 20 years old and its already pretty filled out (205 lbs.). Lombardi traded up to get this guy, so it seems there's something in him that he likes. Should be a guy to watch.

Richard Czarnik, C/RW- American kid, pretty big but needs to add about 30 pounds. Should be a good player to forget about for a few years and then check on. Plus, his last name sounds like Rodney Dangerfield's in Caddyshack and that's... well, it's something. You try to write something about every player, it's hard.

Geordie Wudrck, LW- Geordie?

Andrei Loktionov, C- Woohoo, another Russian! I think Lombardi was thinking that Russians would be undervalued this draft because of the uncertainty surrounding the transfer agreement, so he went ahead and took them. One thing that's funny? Every Russian prospect is just kind of assumed to be an asshole. I would seriously consider a lawsuit if I were a Russian player. "Oh, here's Igor Olskinsov, he's a good player but he will probably just stay in Russia and drink Vodka. They used to be commies, you know."

Justin Azevedo, C- There's 2 things you need to know about Justin Azevedo: he was the OHL Player of the Year, and he's 5'7". I always feel bad for guys that are great in Juniors or in college but never really get a shot to prove it in the pros, so hopefully Azevedo can make it. He'll probably move to the wing and play in either the ECHL or the AHL next year.

Garret Roe, LW- Another 20 year-old (that's 3 on the day). He got straight A's in school. You know, just in case you were curious.

So that does it. There was a lot of trading for picks in next year's draft that I'm not going to get into because it's boring and nobody cares. Drew Doughty will probably play in the NHL next season, while the rest of the guys will go back to Juniors or college or whatever the fuck. Next up: free agency. Oh, and we need a coach, I guess. I forget, are those important?