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The NHL, Boring? No Way!

-Did anyone else think it was weird that they had a "NHL Young Guns" feature during tonight's hilarious NHL Awards ceremony and of the 3 California teams they showed... Corey Perry. Really? Perry? Not Getzlaf, who is the same age and way better? Not Kopitar, Brown, O'Sullivan? Hell, not even Milan Michalek? Seems weird to me. Oh, I'm sorry, you were busy showing 10 clips of Carey Price and not even one of Jonathan Toews or Patrick Kane, I'll shut up now. (Did they? I didn't think I saw one.)

-You have to think that Gary Bettman was hoping at least one English-speaking player won an award. Thank God for Vinny Lecavalier.

-When did Adam Graves turn into fucking Edward Scissorhands? I thought he was going to turn Cammi Granato's hair into a lawn figure.

-I knew chemo could make your hair fall out but I had no idea it could turn you into a mole. Hey Jason, it's called the Sun; you should hang out.

-Holy fuck are these the worst award ceremonies ever. I love hockey, and I love making fun of people, but I don't think I can get through this. They should have livened things up a bit by hitting Red Kelly in the face with a pie while screaming, "T-t-today, Junior!" Fuck this, I'm watching Monk. Look, he's afraid to touch things! Oh Monk, your zany ways make me feel better about my miserable life.