clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Ducks Gameday -- The Shaolin Returns

New, 165 comments

Columbus Blue Jackets (5-3-0, 10 pts) at Anaheim Ducks (3-4-1, 7 pts), 7 pm
Get fired up at The Cannon, get dialed in at Anaheim Calling.

Poise, character, chemistry, confidence -- whatever you want to call it, the Anaheim Ducks have lost their kung fu.  The patterns that haunted their preseason have repeated themselves through 8 games of regular season play, and a particularly painful stretch of games has dropped them well behind the pack in the west.

Last post I took the pessimistic route through choral music -- this time I'm going to be a bit more optimistic through movies.  Don't worry, though -- I'm not turning to Disney today; instead it's time to take overseas inspiration from Stephen Chow.  You see, even though the Ducks have been thoroughly humiliated in their showings thus far, it can't persist -- the shaolin is still somewhere inside of them, I know it.  And while they have been brutalized by their opponents thus far, it's precisely in those shameful moments that the cool breeze of clarity swoops in.  

Yeah, opponents have draped their underwear unceremoniously on the Ducks' head, and are pointing and laughing -- all we can do is hang our heads in shame.  But be warned, the clouds are shifting -- the kung fu is coming back.  In a frozen moment, the fire will re-ignite -- a pathetic group of laughable losers will magically transform into an elite group of oddly-talented superstars.

Too much Positivity?  Perhaps.  But that's the beauty of Shaolin Soccer -- if you've never seen it, I definitely recommend it, one of the most hilarious movies of all time.  I'll warn you, though -- there's multiple parts of the storyline that flat-out don't make any sense, and it's the type of movie that can be concurrently awesome and awful at the same time.  If you're lenient enough about the plot, it's fantastic, though -- cheers me up every time.  

* * *

It's been more than seven months since my heart was ripped out and sent to Chicago, but after much delay, Sammy Pahlsson finally will complete the soul-shattering and play a game against the Ducks.  Because of injuries before his trade, Sammy last played a game in Anaheim January 28, and even though I'm likely to burst into tears, good to see him back.  Bless your Swedish backchecking heart, Sammy -- hope you're appreciated in Columbus.

* * *

A quick note about fighting and momentum -- since the season opener, George Parros and Mike Brown have participated in two fights apiece.  In G2 at Minnesota, Parros lost a fight, and the Wild scored 4 minutes later to begin their comeback.  Against St. Louis two games ago, Brown fought Crombeen, and the Blues scored 2 minutes later to make the game 5-0.  Last game, both Parros and Brown fought -- the Stars scored their first goal 1:37 after Parros' fight and their second goal 1:15 after Brown's.  C'mon, boys -- if you're going to drop 'em, make it matter. 

* * *

Prediction: Time freezes midway through the first as the Ducks finally get their Shaolin wake-up call. Ducks 5, Jackets 2. Goals by Iron Head, Hooking Leg, Little Brother, and Mighty Steel Leg x2.  Iron Shirt is penalized for closing his stomach on the puck.

Go Ducks.