The Kings took their fathers on their road trip to Phoenix this past week, capping off the festivities with a grand dinner for the 16 fathers that were on the trip. I managed to swipe a waiter's outfit and was able to catch a few snippets of conversation. Here are a few things I saw and heard. Oh, and before you read, it'd probably help to read this article, or at least look at the picture.
Tim Stoll (Jarret's Dad): So, Raitis, I'm sorry to hear your dad couldn't end up making it, but I thought he was going to.
Raitis Ivanans: Well, I guess he ran into a little problem at Customs and couldn't get into the country.
Tim Stoll: Really? What happened? Does he have a record or something?
Raitis Ivanans: My dad is actually a bear, so...
Tim Stoll: Oh.
Bob Scuderi (Rob's Dad): Hey, Matjaz, your son's really having a great start this year!
Matjaz Kopitar (Figure it Out): Yes, yes, my young apprentice has truly seen the power of the Dark Side.
Bob Scuderi: Yeah he rea- I'm sorry, did you say Dark Side?
Matjaz Kopitar: Yes, he thought I was mistaken but it turned out he was mistaken, about a great many things!
Bob Scuderi: Uh-huh. ...Boy, that's a pretty cool cell phone ya got there, is that one of those Droid things? I thought they weren't supposed to come out for a while?
Matjaz Kopitar: Oh, I'm afraid this cellular phone is quite operational. Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL phone!
Bob Scuderi: Hey, that's pretty cool!
Matjaz Kopitar: I know, I can even update my Twitter! But now I'm sorry, my pathetic Rebel friend, that the time has come; now you will DIE! Hissssss!!!!
Bob Scuderi: ...Please don't point your fingers at me, Matjaz.
Matjaz Kopitar: Hissssssssss!!!!!!!
Terry Murray: So Alexander, where's your dad, I was kinda hoping to meet him.
Alexander Frolov: *Bursts into tears
Terry Murray: *Slowly backs away
Jim Greene (Matt's Dad): So, Cyril, right? What is it you do?
Cyril Simmonds (Wayne's Dad): Well actually, I was a bit of a hockey player myself.
Jim Greene: Really, you're both hockey players?
Wayne Simmonds: That's right, we're black and we're hockey players. Let's not make an issue of it.
Cyril Simmonds: No one's making an issue of it, son, you're making an issue of it.
Paul Doughty (Drew's Dad): So son, that redesign of SBNation sure does suck, huh?
Drew Doughty: You said it, Pop.
Jack Johnson, Sr.: Finish the rest of that steak, son.
Jack Johnson, Jr.: I don't wanna, Dad, I'm kinda full.
Jack Johnson, Sr.: Whaddaya mean, you're full? No son of mine is going to leave a plate with food on it! C'mon you limp-wristed pussy, eat that steak!
Jack Johnson, Jr.: But Dad, I'm fu-
Jack Johnson, Sr.: *smacks him I said eat it!
Jack Johnson, Jr.: *crying Alright, fine, I'll eat it!
Jack Johnson, Sr.: Atta boy. I don't know what they're teaching you down here, but men from Michigan always finish their plates.
Jack Johnson, Jr.: I hate you, Dad! I hate you! *runs away
Bryan Brown: So... how are things?
Dustin Brown: ...Good. Mom?
Bryan Brown: She's fine. Kids?
Dustin Brown: Cool.
Bryan Brown: ...Yep.
Dustin Brown: ...Yep.
*Both drink at the same time