-The guys behind us were driving me pretty Goddamn crazy. It was like I had the fucking Jerky Boyz behind me all night, it was ridiculous. The worst part is that they weren't even Ducks fans; they were Kings fans! Ducks fans are annoying because they're kind of dumb and don't know anything about hockey, but I think Kings fans are honestly worse because they think they know about hockey when they really don't. They guys behind me had apparently played before so they thought they were Bob and Jimmy.
One thing you'll notice is that people who play hockey don't necessarily know anything about hockey, but most people don't call them on it because most people don't play hockey in Southern California. Most people who play hockey are dumb, just like most people in general, and playing hockey and knowing about hockey are different. Here's how you can tell if someone knows about hockey: if they say, "Oh great, more dump 'n chase," then they don't know shit about hockey. Oh, and if they say, "Du-ucks," over and over and over again because they think it's funny to do it in the voice of a mentally challenged person, then they don't know shit about hockey and they've made a powerful new enemy.
-I went to the game because it was my mom's birthday and I'm a terrible son that only gets gifts that somehow benefit me in some way. It was a pretty entertaining game but it was kind of hard to get a read on; the Ducks were dominant when Getzlaf, Perry and Ryan were out there and the Kings were dominant on every other shift. The Kings had to adjust early because Brandon Segal got injured during his first shift and had to leave the game. They adjusted by giving Brad Richardson and Dustin Brown more playing time and the two responded with some of their best games of the year; Richardson especially played very well, showing that he can do good things when he actually has real linemates.
The Kings were better over the course of the game, as the Ducks were only close because Jonathan Quick let in an awful goal to Todd Marchant. (Todd Marchant! That should count as two.) Overall the game was heartening from my perspective: the Kings are kind of at the low point of their season (missing Ryan Smyth and Rob Scuderi, losing Segal right at the start of the game) and the Ducks are kind of at the high point (winning 6 of their last 7 at home) and the Kings still looked better. I would be happier about beating the Ducks, but beating the Ducks is kind of like nailing Paris Hilton; it's probably fun but who cares if everyone has already done it?
-I went to a fast food Chinese place that's by my work last week and got some food. I was signing my name on the receipt while the guy was wrapping up my order and we finished about the same time. I went to say, "There ya go!" and hand him the receipt, but he said, "There ya go!" as he handed me my food first. I tried to change what I was saying to, "Thanks," but was too committed to my previous sentence and ended up saying, "Tharnks!" I felt like an idiot.
-The Ducks are a pretty hilarious team right now because they're still a team of giant dicks but now they suck so it comes off as just kind of sad and pathetic. It's like they're the high school bully that grew up to be a gas station attendant and the Kings are the lonely, pathetic nerd that grew up to be a fairly successful software engineer with a nice house and a lovely wife that may not be that attractive but is sweet and kind. Last night was the software engineer pulling into the gas station and going for a fill up and then the pump won't work, so he presses the little button to talk to the attendant, but the attendant calls him a fag so the software engineer just drives to another station and gets gas then goes home while the attendant is fired because that was the last fucking time he abused the little button, so then the gas station attendant goes home and gets drunk and posts angrily on a hockey blog under the name, "Spade-in-Victorhell."
But still, the Ducks are in good shape. In 3 years they'll have a core of Getzlaf, Perry, Lupul, Ryan, Hiller, Sbisa, whatever defenseman they sign with Niedermayer's money and whatever defenseman they draft this year. Then they'll lose someone (probably Perry) and they'll have another window as Ryan hits his prime and Getzlaf leaves his. Trading Pronger was a good idea because even with him the Ducks still wouldn't be in a position to win a Cup. It's better to suck and then be great, then tear it down and suck again and then be great. I like what Brian Burke and Bob Murray did with the Ducks and I have a feeling they'll be the 2nd best team in California in just a few short years.
-"Shit, I really gotta go to the bathroom. I gotta stop drinking beer during ga- oh shit, I wore button flies. Fuck! Alright, don't panic, just undo the buttons, but hurry the fuck up. Why the fuck did I buy these, why the fuck do they even make button flys anymore? They don't make TVs with knobs anymore. Jesus, I've already been here for like 30 seconds, do I just go over the top? No, I can't go over the top, I don't like the way the guy next to me is glancing over. Does he know I'm not pissing? Oh God, is he going to stare at my dick? Jesus, c'mon you fucking buttons, come on! Come on! Come- fuck this, I'm using a stall."
-Happy birthday, mom.