LA Kings vs. Atlanta Thrashers
7:30 PST, Fox Sports West
I want Ilya Kovalchuk so bad. If i had to choose between boning Jessica Simpson (back when she was hot, not the stretch pant-wearing GIrl Scout troop leader she's turned into) or getting Ilya Kovalchuk on the Kings, I'd take Ilya and never look back. It makes me ill, how badly I want Ilya. I know it would cost a ton to get him* and I know we could just wait and see if he makes it to free agency, but I want him now. I want to savor in his glory and lick the tears of Ducks' fans as Kovalchuk ravages them again and again and again. There's not one player in the league I'd rather have on the Kings than Ilya Kovalchuk. I feel bad for Thrashers fans because Ilya probably their sole reason for living and whenever they play a new team they have to parry retarded draft proposals for him, but such is life when you have the biggest badass in the NHL on your team. Here's hoping Ilya scores on his own goal and then rips off his Thrashers jersey to reveal a Kings crest underneath.
*Just throwing it out there, but it'd probably cost Frolov, Teubert, Purcell and a 1st?
Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. All 7 goals by Kovalchuk. He's like Galactus. (I'm like a douche bag.)