Note: Picking out "the best" Marx photo is like finding your favorite patch of pubic hair: pointless and stinky. Wait, what?
Good old fashioned capitalist blogging can be found after the jump.
Soooo ye olde bubble updates took a week off as the trade deadline made me actually think. Which SUCKED.
And, naturally, nothing that once made sense continues to be sensible. Up is down. Fat is hot. Kings make the play- OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.
But, really, things have changed a lot. Before there is any "sense made out of this mess" let's just stare at the Western Conference standings and feel blood coming out of our collective ears:
| Western Conference | |||||||||||||
| GP | W | L | OTL | PTS | GF | GA | PP% | PK% | HOME | AWAY | L10 | ||
| 1 | San Jose | 64 | 42 | 12 | 10 | 94 | 210 | 159 | 24.3 | 83.1 | 26-3-4 | 16-9-6 | 5-4-1 |
| 2 | Detroit | 66 | 43 | 15 | 8 | 94 | 244 | 197 | 26.7 | 77.5 | 24-5-3 | 19-10-5 | 6-3-1 |
| 3 | Calgary | 66 | 39 | 21 | 6 | 84 | 215 | 198 | 18.8 | 84.8 | 22-8-4 | 17-13-2 | 6-3-1 |
| 4 | Chicago | 64 | 36 | 19 | 9 | 81 | 212 | 167 | 21.4 | 81.5 | 17-6-6 | 19-13-3 | 5-4-1 |
| 5 | Vancouver | 65 | 34 | 23 | 8 | 76 | 195 | 181 | 18.6 | 79.1 | 18-11-4 | 16-12-4 | 8-2-0 |
| 6 | Columbus | 66 | 33 | 27 | 6 | 72 | 183 | 186 | 12.8 | 81.6 | 20-10-2 | 13-17-4 | 5-4-1 |
| 7 | Edmonton | 65 | 32 | 27 | 6 | 70 | 184 | 199 | 16.7 | 76.6 | 15-12-4 | 17-15-2 | 4-4-2 |
| 8 | Nashville | 66 | 33 | 29 | 4 | 70 | 170 | 183 | 14.1 | 84.3 | 21-11-2 | 12-18-2 | 6-3-1 |
 |
|||||||||||||
| Dallas | 66 | 31 | 27 | 8 | 70 | 191 | 202 | 16.1 | 80.0 | 17-13-4 | 14-14-4 | 3-6-1 | |
| Minnesota | 65 | 32 | 28 | 5 | 69 | 167 | 157 | 20.4 | 87.9 | 18-11-5 | 14-17-0 | 4-4-2 | |
| Anaheim | 67 | 31 | 30 | 6 | 68 | 186 | 197 | 21.1 | 80.1 | 15-15-3 | 16-15-3 | 3-6-1 | |
| Los Angeles | 66 | 29 | 28 | 9 | 67 | 176 | 193 | 20.3 | 81.9 | 16-13-8 | 13-15-1 | 4-6-0 | |
| St. Louis | 65 | 29 | 28 | 8 | 66 | 180 | 194 | 20.8 | 81.9 | 16-12-5 | 13-16-3 | 6-3-1 | |
| Phoenix | 66 | 28 | 33 | 5 | 61 | 164 | 202 | 14.2 | 77.9 | 17-13-2 | 11-20-3 | 3-7-0 | |
| Colorado | 66 | 29 | 36 | 1 | 59 | 178 | 208 | 16.2 | 79.6 | 17-15-0 | 12-21-1 | 4-6-0 | |
Yeeee-ikes.
The Stars and Ducks are teams that embody the playoff bubble. One game, they can beat the Red Wings, Sharks or any other team in the NHL. Then they crap the bed on a pivotal home stand. In other words, like the playoff picture, they never make any goddamn sense.
Steve Sullivan and the Nashville Predators' resurgence would be a huge story if, you know, newspapers existed anymore. (Why do I hurt the things I love the most? Actually I'm quite nice to porn.)
Vancouver looks the safest, which is mind blowing considering the fact that they were possibly the worst team in the NHL during the month of January.
He can't be that hungry if he's smart enough to use reverse psychology. Right?
So, what do we do at this point? Here: get a slip of paper for each team: Vancouver, Columbus, Edmonton, Nashville, Dallas, Minnesota, Anaheim - and fuck it, Los Angeles and St. Louis too. Then throw out Minnesota, LA and STL (Heh). Then get that alcoholic hobo to pick four pieces out of your hat. Stop him from eating the pieces of paper and congrats! You know have today's bubble update.
I mean, shit.
Maybe it will make more sense next week.
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