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Kings Gameday: In Praise of Dustin Brown

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Boston Bruins
@ Los Angeles Kings

Saturday, Jan 16, 2010, 1:00 PM PST

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Last game, Dustin Brown was hilarious. In case you missed it, here's the play-by-play: Dustin Brown played his usual game where he hits people, jumps in on the rush, and misses the net wildly. He finished an excellent play by Alexander Frolov to score, although he did it by beating Ryan Whitney to the net so it's not really that special. Oh, and he trolled the fuck out of the Anaheim Ducks.

You see, Dustin Brown is the person the opposing team would most like to fight. You're not going to get someone like Kopitar or Doughty to fight, and doing so would simply galvanize the Kings. Raitis Ivanans, Sean O'Donnell or Matt Greene will actually fight if you wanted them to, but they're not really that important. But Dustin Brown is the captain, he upsets the other team when he hits people, and he just has one of those faces. Yes, getting Dustin Brown to fight would be a triumph for the other team.

But, of course, Dustin Brown never quite goes far enough in his game to really justify someone fighting him. He hits people but it's generally clean; he scrums after the whistle but he doesn't look at the other player. Brown knows the other team really wants to get him off the ice so he knows to toe the line and make the other team cross it if they want to fight him. This leads to incidents like in the game against Anaheim, where Brown goaded Ryan Carter into doing something stupid. Carter was pissed because his team was getting buttfucked in front of 18,000 people and he was so pissed at Brown that he took a run at Brown along the boards in an attempt to get him to fight. Brown didn't, of course, because why the fuck would he give Carter the satisfaction, and Carter was so pissed near the end of the game that he fought the one man who would drop his gloves: Raitis Ivanans. Whoops.

People criticize Brown for not fighting, but personally I think it's hilarious. Brown doesn't need to fight; he doesn't knee people or elbow them or anything like that. What he does do is get players on the opposing team sidetracked from winning the game on the scoreboard because they're to busy trying to win the game on the ice. Dustin Brown is a troll, and a very good one.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-2. Milan Lucic or Zdeno Chara will go after Brown at least once today. And they'll probably get a penalty. And it'll be hilarious.