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Kings Gameday: As a Peacock

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Detroit Red Wings
@ Los Angeles Kings

Thursday, Jan 7, 2010, 7:30 PM PST

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I can't decide who I'm more proud of right now: our boys on Team USA for beating Team Canada and winning Gold, Matt Kemp for landing Rihanna, or me for making a sick glove save last night. Seriously, dude was maybe 10 feet in front of me, right in the slot, and tried to bury one top corner. I did one of those glove saves where you actually have to make a sweep with your glove to prevent your shoulder from popping out, not one of those bullshit glove saves where someone stops it and then makes a big dramatic arc with their glove because they're some douche bag French Canadian that hits his wife. (God I just hate Patrick Roy so much.)

Anyway, this has been a great week for everyone (well, not Canada or Chris Brown) so we can only hope it continues tonight. The Kings are hurting on the back end and will be missing Davis Drewiske, Randy Jones, and now Matt Greene. Greene apparently had his back seize up on him yesterday, an injury most likely caused by having to carry his giant cock. I mean, I assume. It's not too bad for tonight, at least, since Matt Greene is a big slow dumbass who would get eaten alive by Detroit's forwards, but we need someone to get healthy pretty quick. Tonight's potential third line pairing is Martinez-Harrold. Yikes.

Some Kings stats at around the near halfway point of the season:

Goals/Game: 2.91 (7th overall)

Goals Against/Game: 2.77 (17th overall)

Team Save Percentage: .900 (24th overall)

Shots For/Game: 28.5 (26th overall)

Shots Against/Game: 27.7 (2nd overall)

Power Play Percentage: 20.7% (7th overall)

Penalty Kill Percentage: 79.9% (20th overall)

PIM: 541 (17th overall)

Fighting Majors: 16 (26th overall)

Looking at the stats, you can see how the average Kings game usually plays out. Kings games don't have many shots, as the Kings play a defense-first system that leaves them with only 2 forwards on the rush. Despite this, the Kings score a lot of goals and they allow a lot; I assume they allow a lot because Quick sucked earlier in the season, and I assume they score a lot because they've gotten lucky; I couldn't find team shot percentage but I imagine the Kings would be pretty high up. Both of those numbers are likely going to down during the rest of the season.

They don't take too many penalties and don't do that well on the penalty kill. They do well on the power play thanks to Drew Doughty and that's it (lalalalala). The Kings will likely improve their penalty kill percentage but I think their power play percentage will stay about the same.

Overall, the Kings numbers will start to get closer to one another around the middle of the pack. They're not great at anything (except preventing shots) but they're not terrible at anything either (except shooting). This is their schedule until the Olympics Break: 7 games at home, 5 games on the road, 3 at home, 1 away (in Anaheim), 1 at home. That's 17 games and it wouldn't be inconceivable to see the Kings win 10 of them. This is the flipside to that brutal road schedule the Kings had at the beginning of December; instead of treading water, the Kings need to, I don't know, swim real fast or some shit. The point is, the Kings need to win these games. Let's start with tonight.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. Goals by Brown, Frolov and Johnson.