Battle of California Fantasy Report: Week 1

You know what's even more exciting than managing an imaginary hockey team? Reading about other people's imaginary hockey teams!

 

Premier Match-up

Wiki-Sharks vs. Sleek and Destroy

Sleek wins 9-2!

Sleek's MVP: Bobby Ryan, with one goal, four assists, and TWENTY-SEVEN penalty minutes. Ryan won Earl the PIMs category all by himself.

Meg's LVP: Olli Jokinen, with 0 points and a minus 2, gets his funny-looking face dropped from the Wiki-Sharks.

My offense was terrible this week, with only a total of four goals. I was hanging in there with goalie stats until Dan Ellis' awful game against the Panthers over the weekend.

 

Anzeholics Anonymous vs. Teal Blades

The Anzeholics win 10-3!

DodgerBlueBalls' MVPs: This team's goalies could have been a huge liability, but now you can call the manager a genius because both Kari Lehtonen and J.S. Giguere put up incredible numbers this week. Can it continue? No, no it can't. But it worked this week.

Angy's LVPs: With the incredible goaltending duo of Antero Niittymaki and Michael Leighton (IR), I'm not sure how the Blades got blown out so hard.

Seriously, Angy, pick up some new goalies!

 

Kitten Mittens vs. Brows

Kitten Mittens win 9-4!

Nut's MVPs: Marian Hossa had nine points this week. Also Nut seems to be hoarding goalies.

Mike's LVP: Mike is his own LVP, for not setting up his team and leaving players on the bench on days they would have gotten him points.

Get your head in the game, Mike!

IAmJoe(Pavelski) vs. Fournick Gators

Tie 7-7. Boooo.

IAmJoe's MVP: Jimmy Howard looked pretty good this week.

TuMadre's MVP: Patrick Sharp had five goals. That's pretty good I guess.

Ties are boring, people.

 

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAT vs. Quid Pro Clowe

Quid Pro Clowe wins 8-4!

Plank's MVP: Henrik Sedin had seven assists in one week. That'll do.

Rudy's LVP: Rudy was another guy who didn't check his team. Three guys on his team are on the IR. What a loser!

Rudy deserved to lose because his team name is too long and screws up the score arrangement.

 

McSorley's Stick vs. 2 Live Drew

2 Live Drew wins 10-4!

Niesy's MVP: Did you guys know that Sidney Crosby is a good player? 

Quisp's LVP: The auto-drafter.

Quisp has already made 17 player moves. The next highest is five.

 

spade's little banditos vs. Setoguchi's revenge

Setoguchi's revenge wins 10-4!

Setoguchi's MVP: Brad Richards had a strong week.

spade's LVP: spade's team is the latest to get burned by Alex Kovalev. He's TERRIBLE now.

Seriously, drop Kovalev. Even Yahoo knows he's bad:

After five games, he is still looking for his first point of the season. And in his last 22 games dating back to last season, Kovalev has just one goal and one assist. He is also a minus-17 over that time.

 

Slappyville Freezers vs. Intaglio

Freezers win 10-2!

Freezers MVP: The generically-named defenseman John Carlson, with six points and 18 penalty minutes.

Intaglio's LVP: Ovechkin. Duh?