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Kings Gameday: Christmas Lists

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Minnesota Wild
@ Los Angeles Kings

Saturday, Dec 11, 2010, 7:30 PM PST

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Christmas is just around the corner, folks, and the thoughts of sugar plums are dancing in the Kings' heads. Hey assholes, pay attention to the game! Anyway, the Kings are people too and they all have their Christmas wishes. Here's a look at what the Kings want for Christmas:


Dustin Brown: For people to stop asking him, "So who's the captain on the team?" and then saying, "Haha, seriously though," when Brown says it's him.

Michal Handzus: Michal said, "To see my family again," and then wiped a tear from his eye. I don't know, get him a George Foreman Grille or something.

Kyle Clifford: Lye... when I asked him why he wanted lye he just smiled and walked away

Kevin Westgarth: One final jaw surgery so he can finally finish his transformation into a pelican

Drew Doughty: A Hawai'i Chair

John Zeiler: Me: Who? Oh yeah, uhh... here's this shoe, John. I hope you like it. John: If you're going to give me one of your shoes, can I at least have the other one? Me: ...No.

Jack Johnson: He wants only the finest in Fubu wear

Anze Kopitar: Pancakes. No matter what the occasion, Kopitar's answer is always pancakes

Ryan Smyth: He said something about how he has all he needs and all gifts can benefit the homeless... man do I hate that guy

Justin Williams: "I'm just hoping I stay happy and healthy an-" *falls down flight of stairs

Wayne Simmonds: He wants the new Christmas CD by Michael Buble. You got a problem with that?

Matt Greene: He gets nothing until he STOPS TURNING THE GODDAMN PUCK OVER

Jarret Stoll: "Some gym stuff," Stoll said, and Jesus Christ we get it, Jarret, you're fucking ripped. Stop pointing that fact out. And stop flexing!

Alexei Ponikarovsky: To be reunited with his Ukranian boy band. "I'd love to see Bogdan again," Poni said.

Peter Harrold: For whoever gets him in the Kings Secret Santa Exchange not to loudly exclaim, "Ah fuck, not Pete!"

Jonathan Quick: Something small, not too splashy. Something modest.

Jonathan Bernier: A 72-inch LED Flat Screen TV

Brad Richardson/Trevor Lewis: One of them wanted a BluRay player and one wanted NHL '11, but I'll be damned if I can figure out which one is which.

Davis Drewiske: A trade to another team. That's not what he wants but that's what he's getting.

Rob Scuderi: Same thing he asks for every Christmas, a whore

Willie Mitchell: Just get him whatever and say that's what he said he wanted, he won't be able to remember anyway


Oscar Moller's back!

The tricky little sprite (who is listed at 5'10" but is in reality 3'5") has been called up to replace the probably concussed Brad Richardson. Richardson will hopefully play on the 2nd line, at least for a little bit, while Trevor Lewis drops down to solidify the Kings' 4th line. Lewis would then hop up and play on the 2nd line during the 3rd period.

Moller got off to a slow start this season, as he was out for a little bit after he got a concussion from falling on his head.* Since Andrei Loktionov arrived in Manchester, however, Moller has been on fire. Moller's a shooter first and foremost, but I'm most interested in seeing how he plays in the corners. That's where Terry Murray is going to make his evaluation of Moller's play. Can he get the puck to Smyth behind the net or Stoll in the slot? He needs to do those things if he wants to stay up for more than a cup of coffee.

Also, I'm just preemptively saying that if the Kings bench Moller tonight and play Clifford-Zeiler-Westgarth as a 4th line, I will do something terrible. Like write about it on the internet. Don't test me, I'll do it!!!

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. Goals by Clifford, Westgarth, and Zeiler.

*"How do I fall onto my own head?"

"I- Goddammit, are you fucking with me???"