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BoC Gameday: Kings v. Sharks Tag Team Post

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Neither Meg nor I felt like actually writing a post on our own so we decided to join forces for tonight's game. Then we both ate some leftover pie.

What the hell... mince meat?!?!?!? MOM!!!


Who'd you rather: Joe Thornton or Anze Kopitar?

RK: It's weird that this is even a question, but I think we're finally at the point where Joe Thornton is not unquestionably the best center in the Pacific anymore. Kopitar has been great this season, carrying a Kings' first line that features Dustin Brown and [some asshole].  Thornton, meanwhile, has been doing his usual thing with Dany Heatley and a few different people. Thornton hasn't looked worse by any means this season (maybe a little slower), it's just that everyone else is slowly catching up to him: Brad Richards has been excellent, Ryan Getzlaf is shooting more, and Kopitar is finally realizing that he's a huge dude. I love Joe Thornton because I'm not a homophobe but I think his pre-eminence in the Pacific Division is coming to an end.

M: As dominant as Joe has been for years, and as much as I want to just say "You're crazy if you don't pick Thornton," at the moment it's just not an easy case to make if you look at the stats. With about the same number of games played Thornton lags behind Kopitar and the other big centers in the Pacific. I'm confident Joe's numbers will start to shoot up like Spade at a New Year's Eve party if the Sharks can continue their consistent play, but as it stands now I'd say it's a toss-up.

Who's been a bigger disappointment: Marc-Edouard Vlasic or Drew Doughty?

M: If you asked me a couple of weeks ago I would have said Vlasic, but he has improved his game dramatically since then. He's suddenly doing everything right, and has finally figured out how to contribute offensively the way we need him to. I have no problem with Vlasic these days, so the answer has to be Doughty.

RK: Yeah, I was going to say that Vlasic has been thrown into a tough spot: he's 23 years old and the Sharks have said, "Hey, go ahead and shut down other teams with a collection of shit." Meanwhile, Doughty has had to deal with different linemates, different situations and a concussion and he's still outperforming any defenseman the Kings have. Basically, they're fine and everyone needs to shut up. Leave 'em alone, Mel Brooks! (*gives finger)

Who's more evil-looking: Dan Boyle or Justin Williams?

RK: It depends on what you're looking for: are you looking for generic evil or dastardly super-villainy? Boyle's your man if you're looking for the guy who lets his dog poo on his neighbor's lawn and then doesn't pick it up, while Justin Williams is your man if you're looking for someone to develop the Omega Virus and unleash it on Cairo.
M: I'm sorry, the correct answer to who is more evil-looking is Kevin Westgarth, 80s movie bully and black knight.

RK: That is true, he and Alexei Ponikarovsky look like they would team up to fight Tony Jaa in Ong Bak 3: Where You Been All This Time, Elephant?

The lamer name: Logan Couture or Brayden Schenn?

M: Logan is a cool name because of its association with Wolverine. Couture is a cool name because of its association with the MMA fighter. There is nothing lame about Logan Couture (or any member of his family). Brayden isn't even a name. It's like someone wanted to name their kid Brandon but didn't think that was quite fruity enough.

RK: Wolverine is overrated (go Cyclops!) and Randy Couture has a child molester voice. I think Logan gets it because his entire family has weird names, indicating some sort of bizarre-name fetish. I mean, Judson? Chet? It seems obvious to me that [redacted by BoC Legal] all up in their asses!

Who's a bigger douche bag: Corey Perry or Corey Perry?

RK: Corey Perry.

M: I'm going to have to agree with you on this one. When you're right, you're right.

Who's had a better season so far: the Kings or the Sharks?

RK: I'm not sure. It doesn't feel like either team has been that great; the Sharks are waiting for their top line to explode and the Kings are hoping to finally get healthy. I still think one of these two teams are going to win the Pacific. Which one is still unsure. Hopefully the Kings, since we bet on it and I hate losing.
M: I tried to graph this, since I had the idea in my head that the Kings started off really strong and then have sucked since then, but I ran in to two problems. 1) That's not really the case, since the Kings had 8 wins in October and have 7 so far in December. 2) Since my last computer crash, my Excel is no longer an authorized copy and won't let me use any of the advanced functions. Way to kick a guy when he's down, Microsoft.

Who'd you rather: beardless Rudy or bearded Rudy?

RK: I gotta tell you, I'm pretty happy with this beard I'm growing over the holidays. The patches are (mostly) gone and I think I look quite dashing. I look like a young Matthew Goode.

M: You looked like you just rubbed your face all over the hairy sink after someone with an actual beard shaved.