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Icky, hand germs!
Icky, hand germs!
Christian Petersen

Thanks to Meg and Nut for helping me compile these. These are... Patrick Marleau Facts!

-The first time Patrick Marleau met Owen Nolan, Nolan called him "Pete." Marleau was too embarrassed to correct him, and so it continued for six years. Marleau eventually orchestrated Nolan's trade to Toronto just to end the humiliation.

-Patrick Marleau recently discovered Kanye West and won't stop telling people how great he is.

-Patrick Marleau's idea of comedy is doing a "Borat" impression around Evgeni Nabokov. Marleau's never seen Borat.

-Patrick Marleau's favorite part about going skiing is the chair lift.

-Patrick Marleau once had a crush on the barista at his local coffee shop. One day he tried to flirt with her so when she gave him his latte and said, "Enjoy, Patrick," he said, "Bottom's up!" far too loudly and then tried to take a swig of his drink but he ended up burning his tongue and spilling foam down the front of his shirt. He never went back to that coffee shop again.

- After the coach pressured him to show more leadership, Marleau began insisting that fellow players refer to him as "Cap'n." He was subsequently stripped of the captaincy.

- Patrick Marleau's favorite president is Martin van Buren.

-Patrick Marleau calls Joe Thornton his best friend. Around Thornton. Constantly.

- In High School, Patrick Marleau was voted "Most likely to leave his fly down for an entire day." He was also the yearbook editor.

-When the team goes out Patrick Marleau orders one beer, drinks half of it slowly, then acts like it's a new beer when the guys go for the next round. At some point he utters, "Man I'm buzzed."

-Patrick Marleau sings in his church's choir.

-Patrick Marleau tried to bond with teammate Mike Grier by giving him a high five. Grier signed with Buffalo a week later.

- Patrick Marleau has a nickname for his penis: Brian.

-Patrick Marleau bought himself and Dan Boyle matching pairs of Crocs and then asked Boyle why he wasn't wearing his every day for a month.

-Patrick Marleau tried to trim his eyebrows one time but accidently had the guard on the shaver set to "1" instead of "2". He didn't leave his house for a week.

-Patrick Marleau listens to his iPod on the team plane and then talks loudly while his head phones are in.

- To propose to his wife, Patrick Marleau placed a diamond ring in her glass of champagne. But then he got nervous and forgot which glass was his, and ended up swallowing the ring. He was in the hospital for a week.

-Patrick Marleau tries to speak Spanish when ordering at Mexican restaurants.

-Patrick Marleau wears swim trunks when he showers in the locker room.

-The team was discussing their favorite SNL castmembers but the conversation died down when Marleau stated, "My favorite is Keenan Thompson."

-Patrick Marleau saw Pat Falloon at a team event. This was their exchange:
Falloon: How ya been?
Marleau: Good, you?
Falloon: Not bad.
Long pause
Marleau: It's hot here
Falloon: Yeah.
Long pause
Falloon: ...Well, I'll see you around.
Marleau: Coo'.

-When Bon Jovi is played in the HP Pavilion during a game, Marleau starts playing drums on his legs and bobbing his head until he feels Todd McClellan's hand on his shoulder. Then he stops.

- The saddest moment of Marleau's life was when he lost out on the Lady Byng trophy to Pavel Datsyuk. He cried for days.

-Patrick Marleau recently gave "The Talk" to his kids. The person who giggled the most? Patrick Marleau.

-Patrick Marleau likes the NHL on Versus because it normally leads right into his favorite fishing show.

-Patrick Marleau once playfully asked Dany Heatley what was on his shirt, then when Heatley looked down Marleau flicked Heatley's nose with his finger. Dany Heatley has hated Patrick Marleau ever since.

-Marleau was approached at a bar once by a woman; it turned out she had left her coat on the back of his chair.

-When Marleau walks down a hallway and someone is walking towards him he always averts eye contact until the last moment so he can look up, give them a nod and say, "What's up?" but then the person walking towards him will say, "What's up?" first so he'll end up shouting, "Pretty good!" over his shoulder 5 feet after they've passed.

-On the team plane Marleau insists on sitting in the middle seat.

-Patrick Marleau wears socks at the beach.

-Marleau spends most of his free time practicing post-goal group hugs with whoever will humor him.

-Patrick Marleau's second least favorite thing in the world is losing a hockey game. His least favorite thing is making banter while getting a hair cut.

-In high school, Patrick Marleau would clear his throat 15 teams during the start of roll call to make sure by the time they got to "M" his voice wouldn't crack. It never worked.

-Patrick Marleau ate at the cool kid's table in high school for 2 years before someone finally asked, "Who the hell are you?"

-Patrick Marleau bought a mini-disc player. Last week. When asked why, he said it was because it only used one battery.

-Patrick Marleau was a great Hide 'n Seek player as a kid because no one ever wanted to find him.