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More... Patrick Marleau Facts!!!

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I sure love baloney sandwiches.
I sure love baloney sandwiches.
Christian Petersen

The first edition can be found here. Thanks again to Meg and Nut for all the ones that don't make you laugh. And now, more... Patrick Marleau Facts!!!

Niclas Wallin made a nice hip check in his first game with the Sharks. Patrick Marleau remarked, "Looks like that guy got walled in!" He got a moderate laugh. Marleau proceeded to make that same comment every time Wallin made contact with an opposing player until Dan Boyle finally told him to shut the fuck up.

Growing up Patrick Marleau always wished he had been born on Leap Year Day, February 29th, so there would be something interesting about him.

Patrick Marleau started the skinny jean trend in the Bay Area.

The most important political issue for Patrick Marleau is the legalization of ferrets in California.

Players have gotten nervous in the Sharks locker room since Marleau began his habit of staring at a nude player, holding up his thumb to his face while closing one eye, then writing into a tiny notebook he carries on his person.

Patrick Marleau's favorite drink is RC Cola.

Patrick Marleau loves fantasy hockey. This year he drafted himself, but eventually traded himself away for Mike Smith because he needed a goalie.

Patrick Marleau used a wallet chain until 2006.

Patrick Marleau has been in 6 fights in his career. Each time, it was because an opposing player spoke ill of the TV show Family Matters.

The person who first called Joe Pavelski "The Big Pavelski?" Patrick Marleau.

When he was in high school Patrick Marleau was accidentally invited to a party. He was offered some marijuana but threw up before even trying it.

Patrick Marleau never bowls without the bumpers, because gutter balls make him cry.

Patrick Marleau sent an invitation to Joe Thornton, inviting him to a team camping trip. When Thornton showed up at the campsite he found that he and Marleau were the only players who showed. Marleau insisted he invited everyone but no player Thornton talked to had heard of such a trip.

Patrick Marleau considers himself a wine aficionado because he can name every varietal of Franzia.

Patrick Marleau is excited for the off-season because he'll have more time to spend with his laundry. His favorite part is the drying.

Patrick Marleau has an American Express card, but constantly leaves home without it.

In school Patrick Marleau always wanted to be a hall monitor, because of his deep love of sashes.

Patrick Marleau's second least favorite thing in the world is losing a hockey game. His least favorite thing is making small talk with someone he's already made small talk with because he's already asked them about their weekend.

Patrick Marleau's favorite part about going to Home Depot is the aprons.

At the end of the season, Rob Blake said goodbye to Marleau and then raised his arm. Marleau, thinking Blake was trying to hug him, reciprocated with a quick squeeze. It was only after the hug that Marleau realized Blake was only reaching for his jacket.

Patrick Marleau's favorite Disneyland ride is the train.

Patrick Marleau has pleats on his bathing suit.

Patrick Marleau was out on the town when he saw an attractive woman sitting at the bar. Marleau planned his attack: he would slide up next to the woman, rest his hand on the stool next to her and coolly say, "Looks like you could use a drink." Marleau went up to the woman and rested his weight on the stool; unfortunately it was on bearings so all he got out was "Look like y-" before his body flew forward and he slammed his head against the bar. When he came to the woman was gone.

Patrick Marleau's favorite comedian? Kenny, from The Real World/Road Rules Challenge.

Much in the tradition of the "Playoff Beard", Patrick Marleau shaves his entire genitals each playoffs.

When Doug Murray was selected to the Olympic National Team, Patrick Marleau was thrilled. He talked to Murray about how much fun it'd be to play together and theorized line combos to a silent Murray. It wasn't until Marleau got to Vancouver that he realized Doug Murray was not Canadian, but Swedish.

Marleau thinks he has a great relationship with Todd McLellan despite the fact that before each game McLellan lists the top line as "Heatley-Thornton-That Creepy Fuck."

Patrick Marleau gets nervous and looks at his feet when Victoria's Secret commercials come on. Even when he's alone.

Patrick Marleau will be swayed as a free agent by the first team that includes Duck Tales on DVD as part of his contract.

Patrick Marleau always brings up Battlestar Galactica for no reason. (Wait, that's not Marleau. Who is that...)

Patrick Marleau is the inspiration for that Staples commercial where the guy keeps yelling, "Wow! That's a low price!"

Patrick Marleau pronounces "blog" with a long "O."