The Los Angeles Kings are hosting a series of clinics this season to educate and improve their fabase's skills in a variety of areas. Their first two clinics are the Matt Greene Checking Clinic and the Jarret Stoll Offensive Skills Clinic. (Links are .pdf) I applaud these events. They're a great method of showing what not to do on the ice. Who better to show how not to use your body for a check than Matt Greene? Who better to show how to not close as many offensive chances as possible than Jarret Stoll? Your intrepid blogger was lucky enough to stumble upon the rest of the self-help seminars being offered this season. Here they are:
Getting Enough Sleep, hosted by Anze Kopitar
Positioning, hosted by Jonathan Quick
How to Wax Your Eyebrows, hosted by Richard Clune
Never Get Carded!, hosted by Thomas Hickey
Living with a Tiny Penis, hosted by Wayne Simmonds
How to Close a Deal, hosted by Dean Lombardi
Iron Man Training, hosted by Justin Williams CANCELLED
The Art of Smiling, hosted by Michal Handzus
How to Always Get Noticed in Any Situation, hosted by Rob Scuderi
How to be a Giant Douche Bag at All Times, hosted by Jack Johnson (You might get positive instruction at this one)
The Key to Being Gorgeous, hosted by Ryan Smyth
Understanding Russians, hosted by Terry Murray
Being Un-Awesome, hosted by Bailey
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