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Battle of California Fantasy Report: Week 14

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Premier Match-up

IAmJoe(Pavelski) vs. spades lil bandito's

IAmJoe(Pavelski) wins 9-2!

MVP: Tukka Rask, unfrozen caveman goaltender. 

LVP: Having Ty Conklin on your team is like having a pet monkey. It might be fun for a while, and there may even be times when it seems like the best idea ever, but eventually you're going to severely regret it. 

These two teams are in our premier match-up this week for no good reason.

 

Wiki-Sharks vs. Setoguchi's Revenge

Setoguchi's Revenge wins 12-3!

MVP: Rick Nash had five points and fifteen shots on goal.

LVP: Dustin Byfuglien had a down week, with no points and a minus 2. 

A painful, brutal defeat for yours truly.

Anzeholics Anonymous vs. Sleek and Destroy

Anzeholics Anonymous wins 10-1!

MVP: Jussi Jokinen had seven points. Seven points for Jussi Jokinen? Surely you must be kidding!

LVP: Joni Pitkanen didn't score a lot this week. He was probably tired from filming his new Finnish James Bond film, Joni Live Twice.

What's funnier: narrowly avoiding obvious puns, or wallowing in painfully stretched wordplay?


Teal Blades vs. Intaglio

Intaglio wins 9-2!

MVP: Stephen Weiss had five assists and a ton of faceoff wins. Do you guys like "Stephen" or "Steven" better?

LVP: R.J. Umberger? More like R.A. Badhockeyplayer.

Slightly off-topic: I really enjoy the Resident Evil movies, even though I know they're dumb. Does that make me a bad person?

 

Kitten Mittens vs. Slappyville Freezers

Kitten Mittens wins 6-5!

MVP: Say what you want about Patrice Bergeron having a really silly first name, the dude can score. 

LVP: Most of the Freezers had fine weeks despite the loss, so I'm going to give LVP to Alexander Semin and Ryan Getzlaf for being hurt. For shame! 

This was our only close match-up this week. It was mostly blowouts. 

 

BROWS vs. 2 Live Drew

2 Live Drew wins 9-4!

MVP: Jordan Staal and Keith Yandle both had five points. 

LVP: The BROWS suffered from a severe case of manager absenteeism this week.

Winning decisively in a week when Sidney Crosby was injured should be a point of pride for 2 Live Drew.

 

Fournick Gators vs. Quid Pro Clowe

Fournick Gators wins 11-2!

MVP: Cam Fowler, Brent Seabrook, and Nicklas Lidstrom all had three assists. 

LVP: Without guidance from their manager, there was little hope for Quid Pro Clowe.

The Gators won the assists category 21 to 8. That's huge.

 

MEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAT vs. McSorley's Stick

MEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAT wins 9-4!

MVP: Jeff Carter and James Neal helped Rudy get this victory.

LVP: Neither of the managers set up their teams this week.

I've now spent more time writing this sentence then either of these two jokers spent managing their teams this week.