Young Rudolph P. Kelly lies in bed, his loyal pooch at his feet. He begins to drift off to sleep when, off in the distance, he hears a low rumble. As it nears, he notices the sound as the familiar sound of an ATV. It gets louder and louder until there's a loud squeal right at his doorstep. He jumps out of bed and throws open his front door. There, standing in front of him, is...
Bailey: Waz up, compadre!!
Rudy: B-Bailey?
Bailey: That's right! Your friendly neighborhood lion, here to fuck shit up! Let's go get wasted!
Rudy: Bailey, it's like 11 at night. And it's a Thursday.
Bailey: Oh, so is that why you're wearing pajamas?
Rudy: ...They were a Christmas gift.
Bailey: From your boyfriend? Haha just kiddin' bro. Change outta that shit and let's go see if we can meet some chick and form an Eiffel Tower.
Rudy: An Eiffel Tow... Dude, that's disgusting.
Bailey: *Gives "Hang Loose" Sign
Rudy: Look, Bailey, it's cool that you want to hang out and all but... I have to get up early to-
Bailey: What the FUCK is that?
Rudy: That's, that's Maggie.
Bailey: A dog? You have a DOG??? Shit's not cool, man, shit's not cool.
Rudy: She's pretty harmle-
Bailey: Yeah, I see you looking at me, hound! I'm not some housecat you can bark at and scare away. I'm a lion! I will fuck you up! MEOW, MOTHER FUCKER!!!
*Maggie barks
Bailey: Ahh!!!
Rudy: Really, Bailey, I'm pretty tired and I have to go to work tomorrow. I can't really hang out.
Bailey: Oh c'mon buddy, quit being a pussy. I'll get an Ice Girl to show you her mane, if you know what I mean!
Rudy: No, I- wait, really?
...
No, Bailey, I really can't.
Bailey: I don't understand, you signed up to be my buddy, right?
Rudy: Well yeah, bu-
Bailey: Then why don't you want to hang out? Don't you like me?
Rudy: ...Sure, man, you're pretty cool, it's just tha-
Bailey: Why did you sign up to be my buddy if you didn't want to hang out?
Rudy: ...I wanted the bobblehead.
Bailey: I'm... I'm crushed. You broke my heart.
Rudy: Bailey, don't leave.
Bailey: No, I see how it is. I thought you were cool, man, but I guess I was wrong.
Bailey gets on his ATV and slowly drives away. He looks back forelornly only once, before disappearing off in the distance.
Rudy: What a strange cat. Oh well. Hey Maggie, you want to go take a shower together?
*Maggie covers her eyes with her paws
Rudy: Oh Maggie, you card!
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