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Sharks Gameday: Let's Hurt Somebody

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Next Game

San Jose Sharks
@ New Jersey Devils

Friday, Oct 21, 2011, 4:00 PM PDT
Prudential Center

Complete Coverage >


Hey, everything sucks right now.

Well, okay, not everything. There are some bright spots, if one is inclined to look for them. If one were so inclined, one could point to the strong return of Antti Niemi from injury, the quality play of Thomas Greiss, the impressive contributions of Brent Burns, the Sharks' league-leading 40.5 shots per game, or their second-best 23.5 shots against per game. All of these things could be the focus of an optimistic, sunny-side-up article, if one decided to write such a thing.

But this one (me) says screw all that.

I'm not happy with losing. I can rationalize it and keep it in perspective and all that garbage, but it's not fun at all. You know what's fun? When the Sharks beat the hell out of a team. When they score seemingly at will, get goalies pulled, and put together dazzling highlight-reel plays. That's what I want. Right now.

I want the Sharks to hurt the New Jersey Devils. I want the Devils beaten and broken beyond recognition. I want the New Jersey fans watching at home to change the channel out of shame, and I want the fans in the arena to consider giving up on hockey forever.

I want the Sharks to crush their opponents into a fine white powder. Then I want them to snort the power, and to use the unholy high given to them by the broken dreams of their foes to keep going at top speed, steamrollering over everyone who tries to stand in their way.

That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?

Fine, I'll settle for a win. Any win.

But the snorting/steamrollering thing would be awesome.

Prediction: Sharks win 5-3, with goals from Thornton, Marleau, Pavelski, Couture, and Clowe.

After the jump, misogyny.

You know what's more fun to talk about than how the Sharks keep losing? My 78th-favorite movie of all time, In the Company of Men.

I'm not going to try to describe the film here. If you like the clip below, and/or if you hate most people, then you should probably check the movie out.

Warning: Very very very strong language.