BoC Gameday: Festivus 2011

Happy Holidays everyone! Last season I was forced to honor Festivus a bit prematurely, but this year we're right on target. It's a Festivus Miracle!

Part 1: The Airing of Grievances

"I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it!"

Joe Thornton: Trash-talking is not your thing, Joe, so you never should have gotten into it with the Rangers and John Tortorella. Additionally, while I am happy you are continuing to stay ahead of Ryan Getzlaf in the scoring race (spade and I have a bet about this) I can't help but feel that you should be even further ahead of him.

Martin Havlat: Injured, really? How cliché! Really I suppose the person I should be disappointed in is myself, for daring to dream you wouldn't find some way to hurt yourself this year.

Douglas Murray: The invulnerable Colossus has spent the past few games out with an injury. This is completely unacceptable.

Dan Boyle: Oh, your broken foot hurts? Boo-hoo. This is the Festivus Airing of Grievances, not the Winter Solstice Excuse Marathon. Suck it up and score more, old man.

San Jose Sharks: You guys have turned it on recently and started winning again, but overall this season has been good, not great. You guys need to be great. And please, PLEASE find a way to fix the stupid penalty kill.

All You People: Yes you, the readers. You've all disappointed me by not forcing your friends and family to read Battle of California. If this world was fair and just we would be the most popular hockey blog in the world. I mean come on! Where else are you going to get stuff like this?

You people make me sick.

Part 2: The Feats of Strength

"Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over!"

Prediction: It's a Festivus… for the rest of us! Sharks win a 3-3 tie with a goal from Logan Couture, which he scores using an aluminum pole.