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BoC Gameday: For The Rest Of Us!

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"No! No! Turn it off! No Feats of Strength! I hate Festivus!" (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
"No! No! Turn it off! No Feats of Strength! I hate Festivus!" (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ San Jose Sharks

Friday, Dec 23, 2011, 7:30 PM PST
HP Pavilion

Complete Coverage >



Part I: The Airing of Grievances


The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I'm not big on complaining but I guess I'll give it a shot.

Meg- Earl tells me your writing stinks! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.

Justin Williams- You used to be cool but now you're playing like an asshole. Stop jacking off and make quicker decisions.

Matt Greene- You stink.

Jack Johnson- I'm not fooled, I know that 2nd goal against last night was your fault.

Brad Richardson & Trevor Lewis- DO SOMETHING.

Jonathan Quick- You? You're the worst one of all.

...Just kidding, buddy, here's a bicycle. Keep up the good work!

Opposing Goaltenders- Let us score 3 goals, you dicks!

Seriously, You People- Meg covered it already but you people really are the worst.

Part II: The Feats of Strength

Brandon Segal: "Until you pin me, Kyle, Festivus is not ov-


Ow fuck get off, get off!"

Prediction: The Kings have had trouble scoring 3 goals recently but now that they're playing a bad goalie I think their bad streak will finally end. Kings win, 3-2.