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BoC Gameday: Facts About Patrick Marleau

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You guys are so nice to me!
You guys are so nice to me!
Christian Petersen

Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ San Jose Sharks

Monday, Apr 4, 2011, 7:00 PM PDT
HP Pavilion

Complete Coverage >

As you know, Patrick Marleau is a fascinating man with many interesting tales. Here are some things you should know about him. These are... Patrick Marleau Facts!

-When Patrick Marleau was getting his school picture taken in fourth grade, the photographer spent twenty-seven minutes trying to get him to smile naturally.

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-Patrick Marleau owns the world's 3rd largest Pog collection.

-Joe Thornton & Dany Heatley aren't scoring this season because they're trying to avoid having to hug Patrick Marleau.

-Marleau often has trouble finding a roommate on road trips because not many people can stand his boisterous tuba playing.

-Patrick Marleau was despondent over the cancellation of Two & A Half Men because it meant he wouldn't get his weekly dose of Jon Cryer.

-Patrick Marleau's 2nd greatest goal in life is winning the Stanley Cup. His greatest goal in life is to become a Nielsen family.

-"Do you think those headlines on Leno are real? Some of them are so weird!" -Patrick Marleau, 2/12/2009

-Patrick Marleau once greeted Jamal Mayers by saying, "Hey Jamal, where's C-Bear?" Mayers didn't get it but Marleau felt it was still a solid joke.

-Marleau always knocks to the beat of "Shave and a Haircut."

-Patrick Marleau wore white athletic socks to his own wedding.

-Patrick Marleau still wears a retainer. He doesn't need it for dental reasons any more, he just likes it.

-Patrick Marleau got three "U's" in Words with Friends a few days ago. It ruined his entire day.

-Patrick Marleau always makes sure his Google image searches are set to "Safesearch Strict."

-Patrick Marleau won't stop saying "Duh! Winning!" after every little thing he does. This is actually better than before, when he used to yell, "Dyno-Mite!!!" after every little thing he did.

-All the Jehovah's Witnesses in San Jose know to avoid Patrick Marleau's house. He just makes them too uncomfortable.

-Patrick Marleau has never not touched the plate at a Mexican restaurant immediately after it's served to him.

-People often say that Patrick Marleau is clutch because he is 2nd in the league in 3rd period goals, but he is really just motivated to end the game before overtime so he can get home and catch Night Court. He would record it but all his tapes are full of Night Court episodes.

-Patrick Marleau really likes Night Court.

-Patrick Marleau takes his kite flying very seriously.

-Patrick Marleau used to be really into slot-car racing, but he kept getting too excited and yelling at the kids so he had to quit.

-Patrick Marleau is constantly tucking his shirt into his underpants.

-One time Patrick Marleau forgot to leave a tip at his favorite local restaurant. He felt so bad about it he never went back. Months later he saw the waiter from that night at the grocery store. Marleau tried so hard to remain unseen that he crashed his cart into a giant display of canned peas and had to pay for all of them.

-Patrick Marleau's best friend on the team is S.J. Sharkie.

-While other Sharks are warming up for the game by kicking the soccer ball around, Patrick Marleau is pooping because he's nervous.

-In 2001, Patrick Marleu missed one game but it wasn't because he was injured; it was because he had glued his thumb and forefinger together while building a model airplane and couldn't put on his glove.

-Patrick Marleau got in trouble once during a commercial break for cheering during the "Race Around The Arena" game while Todd McLellan was talking.

-Patrick Marleau wears his jersey to family get-togethers.

-Patrick Marleau was excited when he went to ESPNZone and saw they had tiny TV screens above the urinal. He was so excited he watched a entire hockey game there; he zipped up during the middle of the 2nd.

-The phrase "uncanny valley" was coined off a picture of Patrick Marleau.

-Last summer some of the guys wanted to organize a Vegas trip. Marleau suggested they go to Laughlin to save money.

-When Patrick Marleau suggested to his wife that he wanted to role play, she was excited; however, she became alarmed when Marleau entered the bedroom wearing a "Thornton" jersey.

-April is an incredibly stressful time for Patrick Marleau, hockey player & Certified Public Accountant.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Patrick Marleau is thrown off his game when Drew Doughty tells him he has a stain on his jersey.

(P.S. Patrick Marleau is a little baby who makes a big deal over getting credited on a blog post. OH WAIT, that's Meg. Nut helped too.)