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On the one hand, I dislike Sharks fans.

On the other hand, I hate Red Wings fans.

On the third hand... AHHHHH A THIRD HAND WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I mean, I don't really care one way or the other because it doesn't concern the Kings.

On the one hand, I think the concepts of "choking" and "clutch" are simply buzzwords to encompass the randomness that people don't want to acknowledge in our everyday lives. The idea that we don't control our own fates is terrifying to some and they cope with it by imagining that we do. Doesn't make it any more true.

On the other hand, the idea of the Sharks blowing it again in the post-season would be fucking hilarious.

On the one hand, I'd have to listen to stupid fucks (read: Anaheim fans) make dumb playoff jokes for another year.

On the other hand... man, can you imagine Fear the Fin's comments? So funny.

On the one hand, a Sharks loss would be stupid because people will call them un-clutch despite the fact that they went 5-0 in overtime this season and made one of the biggest single-game comebacks in playoff history during these same playoffs. People will say, "They didn't come through when it really mattered," forgetting that if they hadn't come through when it mattered already they wouldn't be in this game.

On the other hand, a Sharks win will make people say they are clutch now and that's equally retarded.

On the one hand, I'd hate to see the solid careers of good players like Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau further tarred by people who don't appreciate just how hard one has to work to be an NHL player or, even worse, tarred by people who do know how hard one has to work but tar Thornton & Marleau anyway to stroke their own egos.

On the other hand, people will also tar Dany Heatley and that's OK because fuck that guy.

On the one hand, there are literally hours of comedy to be derived.

On the other, Meg would be pretty sad. Not like, "Went to the dining hall without him" sad, but "Girlfriend broke up with him" sad. The kind of sad I can't make fun of. So even if there is comedy there, I can't actually make the jokes.


Goddammit. I guess I have to pull for the Sharks.

Fuck you, Meg.