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Sharks Gameday: Anagrams

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Next Game

San Jose Sharks
@ Vancouver Canucks

Sunday, May 15, 2011, 5:00 PM PDT
Rogers Arena

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Remember when I said that series previews are pretty worthless? I still feel that way.

Today we're going to look at interesting anagrams you can get by rearranging the letters in the names of some of the players for the Sharks and the Canucks. I'll compare two players and see who has the cooler/funnier anagram, and that player will be the winner. This will probably be as accurate of a series-prediction method as my Wikipedia preview was, and that one ended up being pretty much exactly right.

Today's post involves lots of animated text, so please click below to continue.

Match-up #1: Patrick Marleau vs. Henrik Sedin

Patrick Marleau = Racial Take Rump


"Racial Take Rump" sounds like a poorly-translated interracial porn movie for sale in China. 

Henrik Sedin = End in Shriek


"End in Shriek" is what happens whenever Henrik takes off his clothes in the presence of a lady.

Advantage: Marleau. Sharks lead 1-0.


Match-up #2: Joe Thornton vs. Ryan Kesler

Joe Thornton = John on Otter


Some dude named John is riding on an otter, or something? Or "Otter on John," if you like. Or "John, no otter" and it can be like a mother telling her son he can't have a pet otter?

Okay, Joe's anagrams are pretty weak.

Ryan Kesler = Sky Learner


Ah yes, "Sky Learner," the inspirational tale of an idealistic young pilot making his way in the world, starring that queer from the Twilight movies.

Advantage: Kesler. 1-1.


Match-up #3: Devin Setoguchi vs. Alex Burrows

Devin Setoguchi = Shouting Device


I like to think that a "shouting device" is a complicated piece of machinery that costs millions of dollars and all it does is shout incoherently like a crazy person.

Devin Setoguchi has thousands of awesome anagrams for his name. Another personal favorite was "I evicted Shogun" but I wasn't sure if that was racist so I decided not to mention it.


Alex Burrows = Walrus Boxer


God damn it, that's so cool. A "walrus boxer" is like something you'd see in Zoofights.

Advantage: Burrows. Canucks lead 2-1.


Match-up #4: Dan Boyle vs. Christian Ehrhoff

Dan Boyle = Lady Bone


Dan Boyle is very strong in the anagram department, with other possibilities including "Ably Done," "Noble Day," and "Ebony Lad."

Christian Ehrhoff = Fifth Rhino Chaser


If four guys are already chasing a rhino, you don't need a fifth. Don't be stupid, Christian.

For some reason this last picture might have a problem and it might not display the animation, but I already give so little of a fuck about this post that I'm not going to try and fix it. Use your imagination or something.

Advantage: Boyle. 2-2.

We're tied? Oh, okay. I guess I'll just have to continue this for the entire series.

Until next time, go here to have your own anagram fun.

Prediction: Sharks win 3-2, with goals from Lady Bone, Shouting Device, and Racial Take Rump.