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In No One Cares News...

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The Kings signed Ethan Moreau on Saturday, thus filling the "Former Oiler Who Is Useless And I Hate" role on the team. Moreau has always been a douche bag and now he's pretty bad, but the signing's not a horrible one. He'll make only $600,000 this season and he'll be a measuring stick for the younger players: if they're playing well, Moreau will sit; if they're not, then you have a solid veteran (read: old guy) who will do (read: take dumb penalties) what the coach asks (read: come to play every night!) that can play while the young player figures out his game (read: figures out what the fuck "comes to play every night" means). The Kings still have a pretty young bottom-six* so if nothing else at least Moreau can hand out sage advice or whatever made-up voodoo veterans who suck supposedly do.

Basically, I want Moreau to fill the Peter Harrold spot as someone the Kings can bench for weeks at a time without worrying about hurting his development. Of course, Terry Murray will probably dress Ethan Moreau in lieu of Scott Parse or Brad Richardson the entire year and I'll want to kill myself. That is probably more likely.

*Years in the NHL

Kevin Westgarth- 1 year

Scott Parse- Parts of 2 years

Kyle Clifford- 1 year

Colin Fraser- 3 years

Brad Richardson- Parts of 6 years

Jarret Stoll- 7 years