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Proposed Nicknames for San Jose Defensive Pairings

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This isn't the Vlasic I was looking for, SB Nation, but now I'm too scared to use any other picture.
This isn't the Vlasic I was looking for, SB Nation, but now I'm too scared to use any other picture.

Defensive pairings rarely get nicknames in hockey, but there are some great potential nicknames for the Sharks this year, depending on which players get matched together. Here are just a few that we may get to enjoy this season:


Burns and Murray: Brent Burns is all about animals. He owns all sorts of crazy reptiles and even has "WILD" tattooed on him (whoops). Douglas Murray is more animal than man, and he has that whole "don't call me Dog" thing going on. Together these two would be called Beast Wars.


Demers and White: Our youngest defenseman paired with our second-oldest, these two together shall be called Harold and Maude.


Vlasic and Burns: This one is the most obvious, and the greatest. I really hope this ends up being a pairing this season, because I know I'm going to love cheering for Picklesnake!

Burns possesses the speed and agility of a deadly snake, and Vlasic has all the cunning of a wily pickle. They're the ultimate duo!

Picklesnake would be a great pairing, matching Burns' speed, size, and offensive prowess with Vlasic's defensive awareness and shut-down ability. These two together will rule the blue line, as the San Jose crowd roars and chants "Picklesnake!" and holds up pickles, the symbol of Picklesnake. Then the fans move the pickles in the air like they are slithering snakes - and maybe they also hiss?

This has great marketing potential, people, and should replace that shark-hands powerplay thing we do in San Jose.


Boyle and Burns: Hey did you notice they both have names that sound like words relating to something hot? "Boil" and "Burns." It seems like it should be easy to come up with a nickname for these two. So easy, in fact, that I'm going to let you guys do it. I'm tired.

After the jump I'll get to some actual hockey analysis.