This post isn't going to have a lot to do with hockey. It's much more important than that.
For today's gameday I would like to take the time to publicly reply to a very interesting e-mail I received recently.
Subject: YOUR ARE CHOSEN BY GOD.
This is really exciting you guys.
I've never won anything before in my whole life (obviously, I'm a Sharks fan) but now out of nowhere I've apparently been noticed by GOD! He must have read my article about Winnipeg. That was really popular.
The only part about this line that worries me is that it says "YOUR ARE CHOSEN BY GOD." What exactly of mine has been chosen by God? This is important. If it's my shoes or something I guess he can have those but I'm not letting him near my PS3.
Private Message to you,
The lord spoke to me to share this with you. Please kindly sympathize with my current situation and assist.
I promise I'll do what I can to be sympathetic.
My name is Isabella Carmel, I escaped tsunami disaster some time ago which affected my spinal cord, my ear drum and claim my entire family, husband and two sons.
Sounds to me like you need to work on your "escaping" skills.
Crap, I was supposed to be sympathetic. My bad.
Right now I was discharged from hospital after spending many days. It might be a shock to you to know that I was eventually disabled due to the catastrophe that stroke me,
Tee hee, "stroke me."
I was now on a wheelchair after all form of treatment.
Why do we get IN a wheelchair, but ON a rollercoaster?
Why do we get ON a plane, but IN a car?
Why do we see something ON a TV show, but IN a movie?
Why do we wait IN a line at the DMV, but some people from the East coast stupidly think we wait ON line?
Seriously what's the deal?
I have decided to give arms to the needing in the societies.
This sentence raises many questions.
1) Is this lady going to give guns to poor people? I'm not sure how I feel about that.
2) Maybe she doesn't mean "arms" as in guns, but "arms" as in the things that connect your shoulders to your hands? She wants to give those kinds of "arms" to the "needing"? So maybe she's looking to help out people who don't have arms? That's awfully specific, Isabella. And are you sure this is what God would want you to do? I mean, if God wanted everyone to have arms he could do that himself, right?
Don't interfere with God's plan to take away certain people's arms. That's always been my motto.
This should be a legacy laid down by me on earth therefore I decided to build charity organizations for the less privilege as my health has finally confirmed deteriorated so badly. With my present condition this project could not be executed personally by me due to my ailment.
I've lost interest in the e-mail now. Get back to the stuff about how God says I'm awesome.
However your kind assistant is required to make this dream a reality.
I don't have an assistant, let alone a kind one. Rudy sort of helps me some times I guess, but he's an asshole.
Sorry lady, I'm afraid I can't help you.
I have intend to invest the sum of $10.6M USD I deposited in (OVERSEA CREDIT COMMISSION) to help the less privileged. Perhaps you are chosen to help receive these funds from where it was deposited, and also to build charity organizations for the less privilege with it
Perhaps I spoke too soon.
10.6 million dollars? Wow! Think of all the stuff I could buy with that...for charity, I mean. Right. Right. The money is for charity.
I hope charity likes jet skis!
Please I will appreciate if you indicate interest to help actualize this dream and also include your contact telephone/fax numbers that will be forwarded to the (COMMISSION OFFICIALS) for onward communication with you as my appointed beneficiary on how to transfer the funds to you. I will provide you the legal documents that will enable you claim the funds.
I literally cannot type fast enough. This is awesome.
If you are willing and ready to assist in this project, please e-mail me at (screw you scammer) without delay, while I wait to hear from you. Thanks once again for your kindness may God guide and reward you in all your endeavors as you make me realize my last dreams and wishes.
Jet skis, here I come!
San Jose Sharks
@ Calgary Flames
Tuesday, Jan 24, 2012, 6:00 PM PST
Complete Coverage >
This is the last game before the all-star break. The Flames suck, so hopefully the Sharks will be able to head into the break on a win.
San Jose needs the rest. A bunch of players are hurt, and the team has looked pretty disorganized lately. Things are not going well. It's nice that the only Shark that has to go play in the ASG is Logan Couture.
I'm getting kind of nervous about how this season is going, to be honest. I'm worried about how the team has been playing, and how they are going to cope with a super-busy March right before the playoffs start.
Ah well. At least soon I'll have dozens of jet skis to help me deal with the stress.
Prediction: I talked to God and he told me the Sharks are going to win. If they lose tonight then I guess that proves there's no God.
Today's movie is Die Hard. Earl drew a cartoon about the movie once, so here you go.