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Sharks Gameday: No Star Game

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"When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail."
"When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail."

What? Real hockey? Again?

Today marks the official start of the unofficial second half/third third/whatever fraction of the NHL season. How are things going for our beloved Sharks?

Here, courtesy of (read: stolen from) Copper and Blue, are the current league leaders in the Clear Victory Standings:

1. Boston Bruins (20-2, .909)

2. Detroit Red Wings (21-7, .750)

3. Vancouver Canucks (17-7, .708)

4. San Jose Sharks (11-5, .688)

5. New York Rangers (17-8, .680)

The Sharks have 11 wins and 5 losses in games decided by two goals or more. That's good.

Here's what's odd though: the Sharks have only participated in 16 games TOTAL that have ended in a Clear Victory for either side. That's the lowest in the entire league. Obviously part of this stems from the Sharks having only played 47 games, tied for least in the NHL - but then again the teams they are tied with for games played are the Bruins and the Rangers, who have played 22 and 25 Clear Victory games, respectively.

Since Clear Victory Standings are a relatively new stat, it's not really clear what the implications for being last in the league in Clear Victory Games might be. Is it a negative sign, showing that the Sharks have struggled to pile up goals and dominate teams in victories? Maybe. Is it a positive sign, demonstrating the team's ability to keep their games close? Sure, that could be true. Either way, it's a interesting quirk of the numbers that I'll be keeping an eye on throughout the rest of the season.

Coming up next: an update on the 19 millions, 5 hundred thousand United State dollars that a guy offered me via e-mail.

Previously I detailed the exciting e-mail offer I received from Mr. Peter CHANG Lee. We left off with Lee asking me to provide the following information:

Should you be interested please send me your;
1, Full names:
2, Private phone number:
3, Current residential address:
4, Occupation:

I sent him this reply:

Mr. Lee,

Thank you for your quick response. I am very excited about the opportunity you have described. I consider your emails a blessing from God.

I have a few questions.

1) Are you sure it is not possible to find Mr.Gerald's real next of kin even if he didn't put it on the forms? I would feel very bad if I found out I was taking money that rightfully belonged to someone else.

2) 60% for you, 40% for me - this is just your opening offer, right? You said you need me because of my special last name so I'm sure you'll be willing to split the money 50 - 50, right? That's only fair.

Okay here is my infromation:

1, Full names: Owen Buster Nolan

2, Private phone number: I currently do not have a phone. I had a cell phone but it was stolen and I haven't got a new one yet. Can we do this deal through e-mail for now?

3, Current residential address: I move around a lot. I'm in the process of moving from Canada to California. Which address would be better - my current one in Canada or my new one in California?

4, Occupation: I am retired.


I hope to hear more information from you soon.

Bless you.

-Owen Nolan

At first it didn't seem like Mr. Lee was going to write back. I was very sad. Had my jet ski dreams died before they really had a chance to live?

But then on Friday he responded:


My sincerely apologies for not responding earlier to your email,as a matter of fact this was not deliberate but to due some pressing official assignment. I wish to thank you for your prompt response,and to answer all your questions correctly.

I accept your sincerely apologies, Mr. Lee. Don't let it happen again though. I'm a busy man.

1.There is NO possibility of any relation of Mr.Gerald coming forward to make claims to the funds,as i did previoualy mentioned in my email,he confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank.
2.I do not have any problem whatsoever splitting the funds 50/50 with you as long as you guarantee me of getting my own share at the successful transfer of the funds to you.

What a relief! I don't have to worry about any of Mr. Gerald's relatives coming to look for the money, AND Mr. Lee is perfectly willing to make the split 50-50 instead of the 60-40 he initially proposed. He didn't even haggle!

If I didn't know better I might think Mr. Lee had no intention of really giving me any money at all.

But that's just silly.

3.Please i will need a valid address from you,If you are willing to proceed, with this transaction, kindly have the following sent across to me:

1, Full names:
2, Private phone number:
3, Current residential address:
4, Occupation:
This above details i shall hand over to the Attorney who is going to perfect all legal documents of claim in your favour.

Do have a wonderful and a blessed weekend, while i await to read from you again promptly.
Best Regards,
Mr.Peter C.Lee.
Well, damn it, Mr. Lee, what gives? I already sent you that information. How frustrating! I guess I'll just have to give up on this whole thing -

At this time, freestyle [Jet Ski] competition was dominated by five-time consecutive World Freestyle Champion, David "The Flash" Gordon, who had a style characterized not by spectacular tricks, but by finesse, poise, and control. There were ramp Jump competitions at Cypress Gardens about this time as well, although these were not considered to be freestyle. After Gordon came Scott "Hollywood" Watkins who made an impact when he released the first "Freestyle Lifestyle" video, Jet Dreams.

-Wikipedia entry: Jet Ski

Oh man. That is literally the most AWESOME PARAGRAPH THAT HAS EVER LIVED.

I'll send my information to you again, Mr. Lee, and I'll try to make myself more clear this time.

Thank you for answering my questions and for the 50/50 split of the moneys. That seems most fair.

1. Full Names: Owen Buster Nolan

2. Phone number: I just got a new phone, the number is (508) 583-9997.

3. Address: As I did previoualy mentioned in my email, I am in the process of moving from Ontario, Canada, to California, USA. Which address would work better for you?

4. Occupation: I am retired.

Thank you again.
(That phone number, by the way, will just ring and ring and ring forever. I found it here).

I'll keep you guys updated with any further replies.

Next Game

Columbus Blue Jackets
@ San Jose Sharks

Tuesday, Jan 31, 2012, 7:30 PM PST
HP Pavilion

Complete Coverage >

Prediction: Jet Skis.