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The 5 Worst Articles I've Ever Written

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God, this shit is terrible.

Articles as terrible as this guy.
Articles as terrible as this guy.
Karl Walter

Over the course of my illustrious, award-winning career, I've written thousands (literally thousands) of amazing articles that have shaped young minds and brought more than one woman to orgasm.

And I did it all while pooping.*

*Is that a reverse Cleveland Steamer? Like a Cincinatti Ironer or something?

They weren't all winners, though; even I, Rudy the Great, have made a misstep or two. Read on and behold! The worst articles I've ever written.

5- Battle of California Arena Playlist #1

This was early in my career and I tried to give advice on what songs should be played during games. It's full of weird hipster stuff that I don't even think I've heard of! They sound like something a guy with a goatee would listen to.

4- Wiki-Sharks vol. 9: Hagiography

I don't know what the hell is going on with this one. I did 9 of these?!?! Holy shit, who the fuck cares. Sometimes when I'm writing I tend to get too involved in things I think are interesting and don't consider that there's no one, anywhere, that would care. Speaking of, have you guys heard of Ingress?

3- Earl Sleek's Top Ten: Multi-Panel or Multi-Post

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I can be a little self-absorbed. This post highlights that. Seriously, a top ten of my best multi-panel comics? I can't even draw! And Lord knows I have to separate it from my single panel comics, don't want to miss any of that gold! Seriously, me, get over myself.

2- Letter From Birmingham Jail

This one... I don't know, I've never liked it. Just doesn't sound like me, you know? I could do better.

1- A Day with Dunn

What the fuck is this shit.