I Can Never Die

Hey Guys,

Welp, it's almost time for me to mosey on outta the corral. We've shared a lot of laughs, a lot of tears, a lot of tense sexual moments. I've grown a lot over the past 5 years: back then, I was a young pup fresh out of college. Earl Sleek took me under his greasy hoof and showed me the wonderful word of hockey blogging. Since then, I've been to fabulous parties, developed a crippling cocaine addiction, and had sex with more than one Hollywood star. Yes, it's been a fine 5 years.

But now, I must exeunt stage left. Fare thee well, noble savages. May you someday not be as shitty as most of you are now. Remember to capture my beauty mark when you construct the monument.

Don't worry about me though, folks. I may be gone from writing but I'll still be around occasionally. I may be tired of writing but I think it'd be unfair, nay, criminal of me to deprive you of my greatness completely. I'll be here to provide my genius hockey insight, my carefully crafted zingers, and my subtle insinuations that lead to Dunn's ouster and my glorious return. Don't worry, readers, Rudy Kelly is going to be around for a long, long time.

Finally...

I wanted to do something nice for you so I decided to try a little challenge tonight. I'm going to record it and I'll post it tomorrow. It should be very exciting; it'll be my video debut! A preemptive thanks to Earl and Meg for getting the material I needed together for this.

Hint: It involves one of us around here finally eating the nuggets.

It's going to be so awesome!

Sincerely,

RudyKelly