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Kings Gameday: Other Ways The Kings Can Help Themselves Win

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Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ St. Louis Blues

Friday, Feb 3, 2012, 5:00 PM PST
Scottrade Center

Complete Coverage >

Last game's clock controversy sure did get a lot of people talking, didn't it? Boy was that informative and in no way dumb. Anyway, it got me thinking: what are other ways the Kings can help themselves win games?

-Heat up Daryl Evans and throw him onto the ice so opposing players will trip over him

-Place a thin layer of plexiglass at the goal mouth behind Quick

-Post the opposing team's salaries in their locker room, thus igniting a class struggle and sowing dissension among their team

-Convince another team's fanbase that their best players aren't "real leaders," thus causing them to eventually force said best players out of town Good job, guys!

-Back up the drainage in the visitor's locker room

-You know what, let's just smear shit everywhere

-Play the Black Eyed Peas during the game and hope that the other team is so embarrassed for the Kings that they just leave

-I don't see anywhere in the rule book where it says a robot can't play hockey

-Place the Castle Doors in front of the visitors' locker room, put a brick wall right behind it

-Can we hire actual knights? We should try that

-Use the Kiss Cam on 2 opposing players and watch it get real awkward when one player jokingly but not really says, "We should totally kiss just to show them up"


-Give Bailey big tits, have him hang out behind the visitors' bench

-Play the Ducks

vs. St. Louis

vs. Carolina

(2 days off)

vs. Tampa Bay

(1 day off)

vs. Florida

(1 day off)

vs. Islanders

vs. Dallas

The Kings need 8 points on this road trip. Right now they're kind of on an island, separated from the #9 spot but still a few points behind the St. Louis/Nashville/Chicago grouping. Hopefully they can hop up into that group in the next little bit because those teams will kill each other down the stretch and the Kings could potentially sneak in and steal a higher draft position.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2. Shenanigans are abundant.