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Kings Gameday: Live Like A Loner, Fight Like A Professional

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A polar bear fell on me. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE
A polar bear fell on me. Mandatory Credit: Jayne Kamin-Oncea-US PRESSWIRE

Next Game

Los Angeles Kings
@ St. Louis Blues

Saturday, Apr 28, 2012, 4:30 PM PDT
Scottrade Center

Complete Coverage >



Dalton: People who want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse, and we've got entirely too many troublemakers here..Too many uhh, 40 year old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry...It's going to change.

Hank: Yeah, that sure sounds great...but a lot of the guys who come in here we can't handle one-on-one, even two-on-one.

Dalton: Don't worry about it; all you have to do is follow 3 simple rules: One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected; Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary; and Three...be nice.

Hank: [Incredulously] Come on!!

Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker I want you to be nice.

Hank: [With resignation] OK...

Dalton: Ask him to walk, be nice, if he won't walk, walk him, but be nice, If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you and you will both be nice...I want you to remember, that it's the job, it's nothing personal.

Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?

Dalton: No, it's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.

Steve: What if somebody calls my Mama a whore?

Dalton: Is she?

[everybody snickers]

Dalton: I want you to be nice.. until it's time..to not be nice.

***

The Blues are going to try to turn the game into a street fight. Don't let them. Be nice! It's just a game, boys. Smile. Do some naked tai chi. You'll be fine.

Prediction: The Blues get their car dealership run over by a monster truck.