Yesterday we all witnessed the first round of the NHL Draft, but that's only the beginning. Today we'll see the lesser-known prospects pursue their NHL dreams. Why are these prospects not coveted as highly? Megalodon & I investigated and discovered the truth:
Artem Klein- Fantastic player but deathly allergic to ice
Karel Buri- Brought his Real Doll to the combine
Justin Hamonic- Only invited so GMs could ask him if they think his brother enjoys Long Island or if he might want to move on
Niklas Treutle- Inverted nipples; doesn't affect his play but still, eww
Adam Gilmour- Was praised by scouts for his calm demeanor in the face of media scrutiny; later discovered that he had been dead for 6 months
Cameron Fontleroy- Did exceptionally well on the breath test, then remarked, "Guess all that cock sucking finally paid off!"
Kristoff Kontos- Can't skate slower than 50 mph or he explodes
Michael Nishi- Actually a panda
Ronald Knot- Solid player but has an annoying habit of saying, "Knot on my watch!" whenever he stops an opposing player
Evgeni Krutikov- Russian
Cody Payne- See-through inner eyelids like a goddamn crocodile
Trevor Jankowski- Lists Drew Doughty as the person he hopes to emulate and Shea Weber as the hockey player he hopes to emulate
Griffin Reinhart- Strict adherent of The Code; unfortunately, it's The Code of the Knights Templar
(He went 4th overall but I liked that joke so I'm keeping it)
Christian Djoos- Hahaha, "Djoos"
Bradley Beal- Is an NBA prospect but was accidentally invited to the NHL Draft and now everyone's too embarrassed to say anything
Joel Wigle- Undrafted but keeps showing up every year like a total loser
Esa Lindell- Doesn't have thumbs
Judson Couture- What the hell, get out of here
Dalton Sward- Almost went in the first round until Pittsburgh realized his last name wasn't "Sword"
Samu Markkela- Was almost drafted by San Jose but Patrick Marleau vetoed it because he likes to be the first "M" on the team
Jay Dickman- No one thinks they can announce his name at the podium without laughing