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Why Some Prospects Dropped In The Draft

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-Total spaz <em>Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-US PRESSWIRE</em>
-Total spaz Mandatory Credit: Charles LeClaire-US PRESSWIRE

Yesterday we all witnessed the first round of the NHL Draft, but that's only the beginning. Today we'll see the lesser-known prospects pursue their NHL dreams. Why are these prospects not coveted as highly? Megalodon & I investigated and discovered the truth:

Artem Klein- Fantastic player but deathly allergic to ice

Karel Buri- Brought his Real Doll to the combine

Justin Hamonic- Only invited so GMs could ask him if they think his brother enjoys Long Island or if he might want to move on

Niklas Treutle- Inverted nipples; doesn't affect his play but still, eww

Adam Gilmour- Was praised by scouts for his calm demeanor in the face of media scrutiny; later discovered that he had been dead for 6 months

Cameron Fontleroy- Did exceptionally well on the breath test, then remarked, "Guess all that cock sucking finally paid off!"

Kristoff Kontos- Can't skate slower than 50 mph or he explodes

Michael Nishi- Actually a panda

Ronald Knot- Solid player but has an annoying habit of saying, "Knot on my watch!" whenever he stops an opposing player

Evgeni Krutikov- Russian

Cody Payne- See-through inner eyelids like a goddamn crocodile

Trevor Jankowski- Lists Drew Doughty as the person he hopes to emulate and Shea Weber as the hockey player he hopes to emulate

Griffin Reinhart- Strict adherent of The Code; unfortunately, it's The Code of the Knights Templar

(He went 4th overall but I liked that joke so I'm keeping it)

Christian Djoos- Hahaha, "Djoos"

Bradley Beal- Is an NBA prospect but was accidentally invited to the NHL Draft and now everyone's too embarrassed to say anything

Joel Wigle- Undrafted but keeps showing up every year like a total loser

Esa Lindell- Doesn't have thumbs

Judson Couture- What the hell, get out of here

Dalton Sward- Almost went in the first round until Pittsburgh realized his last name wasn't "Sword"

Samu Markkela- Was almost drafted by San Jose but Patrick Marleau vetoed it because he likes to be the first "M" on the team

Jay Dickman- No one thinks they can announce his name at the podium without laughing