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Frank Parlato hates babies

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You Can Play.
You Can Play.

Hey do you guys remember that Lenny Palumbo jackass?

I talked about him last week after he wrote some stupid stuff. I won't link to my article here though - instead I ask that you please Google search "Lenny Palumbo" and click on my story "Lenny Palumbo is a piece of garbage", which should still be near the top of the search results, in order to keep that whole thing going.

Thank you.

Anyways, Lenny's publisher has offered up some "thoughts" about last week's controversy. You can read his piece in its entirety here, if you hate yourself or something.

Here are some quoted excerpts from the publisher's response, along with my response to his response.


By Frank Parlato

Jesus, Lenny Palumbo's publisher is named Frank Parlato? The meatball sandwich budget for the Niagara Falls Whatever newspaper must be ENORMOUS.

Lenny Palumbo, a columnist for the Niagara Falls Reporter, created a stir last week when comments he wrote were deemed "homophobic" by websites, blogs, callers and e-mailers.

Already, in the first damn sentence, I call bullshit on this response. At first it seems like it MIGHT be critical of Lenny, since it says he "created a stir", but then it not-very-subtly shifts all the blame to the people who "deemed" Lenny's comments homophobic.

Well, Frank, the reason we deemed his comments homophobic is because they fucking were. If the word "homophobic" means anything at all, then Lenny's stupid bullcrap fits the definition.

Also, I deem that you smell like sweaty mozzarella.

The Reporter received numerous threats from those who said that if we did not fire Mr. Palumbo, and issue an apology at once, they would see to it that our advertisers would stop advertising and make us notorious in the eyes of the world. Some said they already went ahead and contacted our advertisers before they contacted us.

Of course, we would not dream of avoiding notoriety or keeping advertisers by succumbing to intimidation. That’s for big business cowards and pandering politicians.

We have faith in ourselves and confidence in our ability to stand up as men, much more than faith in others’ ability to hurt us. We don’t need anti-bullying legislation to protect us from bullies. We will do it ourselves with our own brain and strong right hand.

Oh for fuck's sake.

This obsession with bullying/masculinity/homosexuality that is apparently shared by the entire staff of this moronic newspaper makes me feel like every single one of these guys were beaten up a lot when they were kids and have a TON of unresolved issues about that.

I mean, let's be honest - Lenny Palumbo and Frank Parlato are probably fat guys, right? I mean, just look at their names and their opinions and tell me they AREN'T fat. And since they're fat now, they were probably fat kids. And fat kids often get picked on by bullies. And some of those fat kids grow up to be horrible human beings like Lenny and Frank.

The Reporter will give tit for tat to anyone who chooses to attempt to bully us with compound interest.
However, for those who think it is almost as dangerous in 2012 to criticize homosexuality as it was to promote it in 1950, because the people who fought for tolerance are now the quickest to deny it to others, I disagree.

This is some poorly written garbage right here. I had to read it several times to figure out if he was being extremely offensive and idiotic or just offering some half-hearted pandering, and I'm pretty sure it's the latter. He's saying he DOESN'T think it's almost as dangerous to criticize homosexuality now as it was to promote it in 1950. So, yeah, obviously, that's true. Who the hell is taking the other side of this argument?

Is it Lenny?

It's probably Lenny.

I believe most of the world is made up of good people.

None of whom work for or subscribe to the Niagara Falls Reporter.

I was gladdened by the fact that, aside from the attempts of cowardly bullies, I did receive sincere requests from genuine and serious people who disagreed with Mr. Palumbo and wanted me to clarify what I will or will not publish in the future, and why I allowed Mr. Palumbo’s opinions to be published in the first place.

For the sake of these people, I will share my views even though they may be of little interest to general readers.

First, the Reporter is not opposed to Mr. Palumbo saying that he has an objection to homosexuality or preaching his objection even in language that may be insulting.

However, I draw the line at publishing any call to make homosexuality illegal or to punish any consenting adults for practicing homosexuality.

It is very telling that, for Frank Parlato, refusing to publish a piece that calls for the death penalty for homosexuals is something to brag about.

I do not believe words are punishment. I do not accept the craven notion that other’s words have power over us.

I believe man must muster his own strength against bullies, whether in the schoolyard, the government, the streets, in business, in politics, from foreign powers, or from the politically correct who demand group think.


I believe within everyone is the strength to stand up to even the devil himself and subdue him in a twinkling.

That sentence is the gayest thing I've ever seen, and I watch gay porn pretty much constantly.

We certainly will not submit to the prattle of babies who cannot take a word of criticism without lashing out as bullies themselves in order to demand their views be accepted without debate whether others agree or not.

When I started this piece I was offended as a supporter of gay rights, but now I'm offended as an English major. You can't write for shit, Frank.

The Reporter’s defense of gay rights or gay criticism stops at limiting free speech. Let babies howl and do what they will. I have no objection to anyone trying to persuade any adult that homosexuality is wrong or right.

Why does Frank Parlato hate babies so much?

I draw the line, however, at youth and believe it is the duty of parents to instruct their children about sexual orientation and not the government, school, media or professional sports. I think this country needs to show more respect for the rights of parents.

Coming to the world of adults, I support the rights of two or more people to have any relationship they please. I do not care at all what sex organs adults have when they come into physical contact with each other for fun, for mysticism, health, or profit. I am not offended by adults who practice homosexuality, polygamy, polyandry, polyamory, promiscuity or any other arrangement involving sex or love or marriage (with or without state approval) that consenting adults care to make with each other.

That's all very nice of you, Frank, but I have to ask..."mysticism"? What kind of....what?

The closest Frank Parlato has been to sex in the past twenty years was the time he stuck his dick in a meatball sandwich.

I respect that a large percentage of the world considers the union of one man and one woman a sacred thing and call it marriage. I have no objection if two people of the same sex wish to call their union marriage and contract to make it legally binding.

As for sex for procreation, God or nature decided long ago that male unites with female. Someday man may find a way to change that and maybe that, too, is natural and right.

Frank writes about sex like he's an alien.

In the end, man may conquer nature - inner and outer - and subdue her in a twinkling.

Again with the twinkling.

In the most general terms, talk of sexual orientations, I believe, is on a path of growth, but means little. I believe that courage is developed by that man who is not under the control of lust; that the power to say to the body that it shall be under the firm will of the mind is a tonic unto itself.

The topic, however, is freedom and growth. In finding strength, it may be true that the soul is seen. There will be no talk then of gender.

"In finding strength, it may be true that the soul is seen. There will be no talk then of gender."

"In finding strength, it may be true that the soul is seen. There will be no talk then of gender."

"In finding strength, it may be true that the soul is seen. There will be no talk then of gender."

"In finding strength, it may be true that the soul is seen. There will be no talk then of gender."

Frank Parlato is the Pope of the Church of the Space-gays.

In real time, the Reporter will defend the right of homosexuals to criticize Lenny Palumbo and vice versa.

And to the extent that we believe it may be of interest to our readers, we will publish it.

Yes, fine, good.

In conclusion, Frank Parlato seems to be more open-minded than Lenny, maybe, but might also be dangerously insane - which I think would explain a lot about the Niagara Falls Reporter.