Sharks Gameday: 2014 Pacific Division Champions

You know what? The Sharks are going to win the Pacific division this year. I guarantee it. You can take that to the bank, assuming your bank is some kind of weird cartoon bank that accepts sports predictions instead of money.

Anyways, it's in the bag. No one is going to stop the Sharks on their march to the top of the division this year. I hope they can find an empty spot up in the arena rafters for the banner. It's getting pretty crowded up there these days. But that's just what happens when you're a team with the commitment to excellence and history of success that the San Jose Sharks have enjoyed.

Sure, it might be a BIT early to be calling the Sharks the favorites to win the division, but come on: who else is going to do it?

Before the season started the Kings MIGHT have looked like contenders, but even before this embarrassing incident they were already looking like a mess. Darryl Sutter doesn't seem to know how to properly use his team's talents, and somehow defense has become an enormous liability where it was once a strength. They might be able to right the ship once Sutter gets fired, but that probably won't be until it's too late to really make a difference in the race for the division championship. Next.

The Ducks? Please. Last season was the flukiest fluke that ever fluked. I don't know if you've heard, but advanced statistics say the Ducks suck and they smell and cry and constantly poop their pants, so...yeah. No banner for you, Ducks.

The Coyotes actually COULD contend for the division championship, but we all know they're going to move to Atlanta and the Eastern conference before the season is over, so no dice there.

Oilers? Oh yeah, that's a good point. They're pretty good, right? They've got all that good young talent at forward and -hang on a second. Who's their starting goalie again?

Hahaha no, seriously, who is their STARTER?

Oh crap, really? Well why the hell didn't they try to trade for a goalie or something during the off-season?

Dumb.

How about the Calgary Flames? Will they contend for the Pacific Division championship?

Nope.

And that brings us to the Vancouver Canucks.

In another world, the Canucks MIGHT have had a chance to contend for the top spot in the division. The Sedins are most definitely declining, but they have a BIT of gas left in the tank. The team has solid goaltending, and that can go a long way. Plus, as I've already discussed in this post, the rest of the division is pretty awful.

In another world in which the Canucks weren't in the same division as the Sharks, they might have had a chance.

The Canucks are extremely lucky that they only have to play the Sharks four times this year, rather than five like everyone else in the division. That means they will only suffer FOUR completely humiliating and demoralizing beatings against the Sharks this year, rather than five.

Unless the teams meet in the playoffs again, of course.

Here's hoping!

The Sharks are your 2014 Pacific Division Champions, folks. Clear a spot for the banner and start camping out for the parade.

Prediction: It's the Canucks, right? Then the Sharks are going to win.

Video Gamery: My 79th favorite video game is Mortal Kombat, which this blog has covered extensively in the past.