clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Ducks Gameday: Embarrassing Big D

New, 40 comments

Two horrible things from Texas, together at last.

Look at this idiot.
Look at this idiot.
Hannah Foslien


Next Game

Dallas Stars
@ Anaheim Ducks

Sunday, Oct 20, 2013, 5:00 PM PDT
Honda Center

Complete Coverage >


Speaking of embarrassing, let's talk about this before I jump in to today's post proper: Since we last discussed how atrocious the Ducks' power play is, we've had four additional power play opportunities. We scored on zero of them, including a four minute double-minor. We're now at 3.7% effectiveness on the power play. Ouch! Anyway, on to the article...

There are a lot of embarrassing things about the state of Texas. Texas as a national joke is something this great nation holds dear. Texas overcompensates for their inadequacy by doubling down on the worst parts of itself, and coining phrases like "everything's bigger in Texas" (failing to understand that a big piece of shit is still just a piece of shit.). I've decided to take just two (out of many) of these embarrassing things today, and create a bit of a Battle of California exclusive mashup video. I've heard the kids love mashup videos these days.

For some quick background as to just what you'll be watching...

  • On January 4th, 2007 the Stars were playing the Edmonton Oilers (in Edmonton). The Oilers were down 4-5 and the clock was winding down. Edmonton's goalie has been pulled for the extra attacker, and the Stars gain possession of the puck. Stars' Patrik Stefan skates up to an empty net to seal the deal on the game... yet someone trips and misses. Oilers recover the puck, and with just 2 seconds to go, Ales Hemsky scores to tie the game and force the Stars to overtime.
  • During the 2012 presidential election, the GOP primary was a little chaotic. Bringing (even more) hilariousness to the process was Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is unfit for state level politics, let alone the national stage. After some gaffes had him basically eliminated from the election process, he created a new campaign ad as a last-ditch effort to stay relevant. In it, he pretty much blames gays and the "war on religion" for society's ills. Surely, had he not already been essentially dismissed form the primaries, this video would have had him laughed out, all the way back to the clown car.

The Mashup

Gameday Prediction

Andrew Cogliano ends the war on religion, scores a Power Play goal.

Classic Moment

To help commemorate the Ducks' 20th year this season, each gameday I'll be posting a clip of a classic moment from the team's history against that night's opponent. Here is today's...

During the second round of the 2003 Stanley Cup Playoffs, the Mighty Ducks matched up against the Dallas Stars. Game 1 went an excruciating 5 rounds of OT before being decided by this goal...

More from Battle of California: