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Sharks Gameday: Cyclops sucks

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Wolverine is better than Cyclops, just like the Sharks are better than the Kings.


Ten Reasons Wolverine is Better Than Cyclops

  1. Wolverine doesn't play by the rules. which is cool. Here he is riding a motorcycle without a helmet, for example.
  2. Bullets don't kill Wolverine, whereas Cyclops can easily be killed with a slightly modified Nerf gun.
  3. Wolverine has been the best part of the live-action movies. Cyclops has always been boring as shit.
  4. The Fastball Special.
  5. Cyclops frequently wears an outfit which covers his entire head and makes him look like a fucking dildo.
  6. Wolverine smokes cigars, and smoking is just about the coolest thing you can do.
  7. Wolverine fought in both World Wars, while Cyclops was a filthy draft-dodger (probably).
  8. In addition to being the only cool Canadian, Wolverine is one of just a handful of cool short guys. His creation gave puny males the world over someone to emulate for the first time since Napoleon was defeated.
  9. Claws!
  10. Finally, this section from the Marvel Wiki entry on Cyclops tells you just about all you need to know about him:

When he was in school, he was beaten up by a bully and wet himself. He returned home to his foster parents where his powers awakened.

I rest my case.


Next Game

San Jose Sharks
@ Los Angeles Kings

Wednesday, Oct 30, 2013, 7:30 PM PDT

Complete Coverage >

Wolverine is the perfect representative of the San Jose Sharks this season. He's Canadian, he brutalizes his enemies, and he doesn't let injuries slow him down:

This past Sunday, the Sharks played their worst game of the year and still somehow beat the Senators 5-2. Anytime a team gives up 40 shots and still wins there's plenty of luck involved, but as Fear the Fin noted in their breakdown of the scoring chances in the game, the Sharks managed to limit the Senators to just twelve actual scoring opportunities. That the Sharks managed to match the Senators in scoring chances while playing the second game of a back-to-back and despite having their lineup depleted by injuries is just incredible.

With so many important players out of the lineup, the Sharks are going to need to continue to rely on solid performances from their younger guys in order to hang with the Kings. While the Kings don't have the same impressive early season record as the Sharks this year, Los Angeles is right behind San Jose in a lot of the metrics that indicate how well a team has been playing. Over the full 82 games this year, the Kings are likely to be the biggest rivals for the Sharks in terms of the all-important Pacific Division championship.

Of course in the end, we all know how that's going to turn out.

Regardless of what the San Jose lineup looks like for this game against the Kings, one thing is clear: Mike Brown has no business being anywhere near an NHL roster. Seriously, he sucks. His only skill is as a fighter, and the science has been done in that regard and we know fighting doesn't help you win the NHL so peace out, Mike. Go wax your mustache in the press-box.


Anyways, go Sharks!

Prediction: Sharks win 3-2. Mike Brown scores two goals and makes me look like a dumb asshole.

Video Gamery: My 70th-favorite video game is X-Men 2: Clone Wars for the Genesis. In that game, as in everything else, Wolverine is way better than Cyclops (and Nightcrawler is better than either one). Observe:

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