Okay then, let's write a gameday post.
This is Megalodon checking in from Nashville. I'm writing this gameday post on my phone. I'm not sure if this will work or not. Is anyone reading this? Hello?
I'm in a bit of trouble here. I'm just going to keep typing, and hopefully this will all work out. Here's what happened: after last night's horrible performance by the Sharks, I was pretty upset. I couldn't understand why they had played so poorly - and I wanted to talk to the team personally about it. So I decided to travel along with the Sharks for a few games of this two-week road-trip they're on. The Sharks would certainly play better with me giving them advice and encouragement, right?
I arrived in Nashville by plane early this morning, and headed to
Sommet Center Gaylord Entertainment Center Nashville Arena Bridgestone Arena many hours early, since I know how dangerous it can be spending time walking around in this city. I thought I would explore the arena before anyone else arrived, maybe take some cool pictures to use for my gameday post, and then hide in the visitor's dressing room and wait for the Sharks to get here. The arena wasn't technically open yet, but after a bit of searching I found a loose vent on one of the walls and managed to pry it open. It was kind of spooky, traveling in the vent, and it became pretty narrow and confining after a while. I had to get down on my stomach and inch my way along in the darkness, using my phone as a flashlight.
Finally, after what seemed like hours of crawling, I found a way out. I kicked out another vent cover and tried to climb out, but then I slipped and fell
too far down, and I landed POW on a pile of dirty hockey gear. I managed to get to my feet and I found myself in a hallway that stretched and curved away in every direction. I had injured my knee in the fall, but I had no choice but to walk. I tried a few doors along the hallway, but couldn't find anyone to help me. One door led to a room full of skates. Another door opened up onto a huge empty space....impossibly BIG. There was just no way that space could be somewhere inside the Bridgestone Arena. It makes me dizzy just to think about it.
The ground beneath my feet always felt like it
and even when I turned around and started walking the other
it was still
sloping down down down.
I found the worst door of all after I had traveled down that hallway for what felt like miles, through the darkness with only my dying phone for light. Suddenly, the hallway came to a
In front of me,
in the center of a
blank black brick
was a red door.
And on the door it said:
I'm not sure what happened after that. My head hurts when I think of that door, and that word. All I know is I'm still down here, somewhere beneath the arena, and my phone is dying and I'm tired and hungry and afraid.
I'm sorry about this everyone. I'm sorry I wasn't able to write the gameday post that I intended. I had some really great stuff I was going to include along with my pictures of the arena. I was going to write about how poorly the Sharks are playing right now, and how this road trip could very well break the team in half. I was also going to share some history about the Nashville Predators and their arena. I had a bunch of notes with me earlier, but I can't find them now. In fact when I try to search for anything about the team the only thing that comes up on my phone is a list of names*. I'm not sure what it means, but I'll try to attach it to the end of this article. Maybe you can figure it out.
Prediction: I'm never getting out of here. It won't let me. I'm not certain, anymore, that there is really any outside world at all. Sharks win 4-2, with four goals from Patrick Marleau.
My battery is dying. I can't use it as a flashlight anymore and I should stop typing and turn off the screen but I don't know what is going to happen once it's completely dark here and I swear there is something following me I can hear it walking and growling and breathing but I can never see it I think it's waiting for the dark and then it is going to be right here next to me...-.
* = LIST OF NAMES
Daigneault, J. J.
Danielewski, Mark Z.
de Vries, Greg
Dumont, J. P.
Ellis, Fake Dan