Sharks Gameday: Arena of Leaves

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Okay then, let's write a gameday post.

This is Megalodon checking in from Nashville. I'm writing this gameday post on my phone. I'm not sure if this will work or not. Is anyone reading this? Hello?

I'm in a bit of trouble here. I'm just going to keep typing, and hopefully this will all work out. Here's what happened: after last night's horrible performance by the Sharks, I was pretty upset. I couldn't understand why they had played so poorly - and I wanted to talk to the team personally about it. So I decided to travel along with the Sharks for a few games of this two-week road-trip they're on. The Sharks would certainly play better with me giving them advice and encouragement, right?

I arrived in Nashville by plane early this morning, and headed to Sommet Center Gaylord Entertainment Center Nashville Arena Bridgestone Arena many hours early, since I know how dangerous it can be spending time walking around in this city. I thought I would explore the arena before anyone else arrived, maybe take some cool pictures to use for my gameday post, and then hide in the visitor's dressing room and wait for the Sharks to get here. The arena wasn't technically open yet, but after a bit of searching I found a loose vent on one of the walls and managed to pry it open. It was kind of spooky, traveling in the vent, and it became pretty narrow and confining after a while. I had to get down on my stomach and inch my way along in the darkness, using my phone as a flashlight.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of crawling, I found a way out. I kicked out another vent cover and tried to climb out, but then I slipped and fell

d

o

w

n

too far down, and I landed POW on a pile of dirty hockey gear. I managed to get to my feet and I found myself in a hallway that stretched and curved away in every direction. I had injured my knee in the fall, but I had no choice but to walk. I tried a few doors along the hallway, but couldn't find anyone to help me. One door led to a room full of skates. Another door opened up onto a huge empty space....impossibly BIG. There was just no way that space could be somewhere inside the Bridgestone Arena. It makes me dizzy just to think about it.

The ground beneath my feet always felt like it

was

sloping

downward,

and even when I turned around and started walking the other

way

it was still

sloping down down down.

I found the worst door of all after I had traveled down that hallway for what felt like miles, through the darkness with only my dying phone for light. Suddenly, the hallway came to a

dead end.

In front of me,

in the center of a

blank black brick

wall,

was a red door.

And on the door it said:

Gnash

I'm not sure what happened after that. My head hurts when I think of that door, and that word. All I know is I'm still down here, somewhere beneath the arena, and my phone is dying and I'm tired and hungry and afraid.

I'm sorry about this everyone. I'm sorry I wasn't able to write the gameday post that I intended. I had some really great stuff I was going to include along with my pictures of the arena. I was going to write about how poorly the Sharks are playing right now, and how this road trip could very well break the team in half. I was also going to share some history about the Nashville Predators and their arena. I had a bunch of notes with me earlier, but I can't find them now. In fact when I try to search for anything about the team the only thing that comes up on my phone is a list of names*. I'm not sure what it means, but I'll try to attach it to the end of this article. Maybe you can figure it out.

Prediction: I'm never getting out of here. It won't let me. I'm not certain, anymore, that there is really any outside world at all. Sharks win 4-2, with four goals from Patrick Marleau.

My battery is dying. I can't use it as a flashlight anymore and I should stop typing and turn off the screen but I don't know what is going to happen once it's completely dark here and I swear there is something following me I can hear it walking and growling and breathing but I can never see it I think it's waiting for the dark and then it is going to be right here next to me...-.

* = LIST OF NAMES

Abid, Ramzi
Allison, Jamie
Andersson, Jonas
Andersson, Niklas
Angy
Arkhipov, Denis
Arnott, Jason
Atcheynum, Blair
Beech, Kris
Begin, Steve
Belak, Wade
Berehowsky, Drake
Berenzweig, Bubba
Bergfors, Niclas
bezzerkker
bezzerkker
bezzerkker
Blum, Jonathon
Bochenski, Brandon
Boikov, Alexandre
Bombardir, Brad
Boink, Radek
Bordeleau, Sebastien
Bouchard, Joel
Boughner, Bob
Bouillon, Francis
Bourque, Gabriel
Boyd, Dustin
Brennan, Rich
brokenyard
Brookbank, Weldon
Brookbank, Shade
Brunette, Andrew
Buck, Young
CAustin
Cisar, Marian
Classen, Greg
Cote, Patrick
Crowe, Phil
Cyrus, Miley
Daigneault, J. J.
Danielewski, Mark Z.
Daniels, Jeff
Darche, Mathieu
de Vries, Greg
Dekanich, Mark
Delmore, Andy
Dobias, Jared
Dubinsky, Steve
Dumont, J. P.
Dunham, Mike
Eaton, Mark
Ekholm, Mattias
Ellis, Fake Dan
Ellis, Ryan
Erat, Martin
Farrell, Mike
Fichaud, Eric
Fiddler, Vernon
Finley, Brian
Fisher, Mike
Fitzgerald, Tom
Fitzpatrick, Rory
Flaherty, Wade
Flubber McGee
Forsberg, Peter
Franson, Cody
Friedman, Doug
Gamache, Simon
Gaustad, Paul
Gelinas, Martin
Geoffrion, Blake
Get'rDunn
Gilchrist, Brent
Gill, Hal
Goc, Marcel
Gosselin, David
Grant, Triston
Grebeshkov, Denis
Grimson, Stu
Gnash
Guite, Ben
Haggerty, Sean
Halischuk, Matt
HailRover
Hall, Adam
Hamhuis, Dan
Hartnell, Scott
Hauer, Brett
Haydar, Darren
Henderson, Matt
Hentunen, Jukka
Heward, Jamie
Hillen, Jack
Hlavac, Jan
Hnidy, Shane
Hordichuk, Darcy
Hornqvist, Patric
Houlder, Bill
Hulse, Cale
Hunter, Catfish
Hutchinson, Andrew
Johansson, Andreas
Johnson, Greg
Jones, Ryan
Josi, Roman
Karalahti, Jere
Jesse Knutson
Kariya, Paul
Keczmer, Dan
kid ish
Kjellberg, Patric
Klasen, Linus
Klein, Kevin
Kloucek, Tomas
Koistinen, Ville
Kostitsyn, Andrei
Kostitsyn, Sergei
Krivokrasov, Sergei
Laakso, Teemu
Lambert, Denny
Langfeld, Josh
Lasak, Jan
Leahy, Pat
Legwand, David
Lehtonen, Mikko
Leighton, Michael
Lindback, Anders
Lintner, Richard
Lombardi, Matthew
Mann, Cameron
Markov, Danny
Mason, Chris
McGrattan, Brian
McKenzie, Jim
meetyourmako
Mercer, Ron
Millar, Craig
More, Jayson
Morgan, Jason
Moro, Marc
Mowers, Mark
Mueller, Chris
Murray, Rem
Myhres, Brantt
Namestnikov, Evgeny
Neckar, Stan
Nelson, Jeff
Nichol, Scott
Nugent, Ted
O'Brien, Shane
Olvecky, Peter
O'Reilly, Cal
Orszagh, Vladimir
Ortmeyer, Jed
Panettiere, Hayden
Paskett, Keith
Pederson, Denis
Peltonen, Ville
Perreault, Yanic
Perrott, Nathan
Petrov, Oleg
Peverley, Rich
Pihlstrom, Antti
Pittis, Domenic
Pivko, Libor
Radulov, Alexander
Rinne, Pekka
Robitaille, Randy
Ronning, Cliff
Santorelli, Mike
Sarault, Yves
Satan, Myroslave
Scatchard, Dave
Schnabel, Robert
Shishkanov, Timofei
Sillinger, Mike
Sim, Jon
Simpson, Reid
Skrastins, Karlis
Skrbek, Pavel
skyywise
Slaney, John
slotownsharksfan
Smith, Craig
Smith, Wyatt
Smithson, Jerred
Smyth, Brad
SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL
Spaling, Nick
Stevenson, Jeremy
Stortini, Zack
Sullivan, Steve
Sulzer, Alexander
Suter, Ryan
Svatos, Marek
Sykora, Petr
Tarnasky, Nick
Tenkrat, Petr
Thang, Ryan
Thuresson, Andreas
Timonen, Kimmo
Tootoo, Jordin
Trepanier, Pascal
Turcotte, Darren
Upshall, Scottie
Valicevic, Rob
Vasicek, Josef
Vishnevski, Vitaly
Vokoun, Tomas
Voorhies, Lark
Vopat, Jan
Walker, Scott
Ward, Joel
Warriner, Todd
Watt, Mike
Weber, Shea
whine_country
Wilm, Clarke
Wilson, Colin
Wilson, Kyle
Witt, Brendan
Xenu, Grobari
Yachmenev, Vitali
Yip, Brandon
York, Jason
Zanon, Greg
Zettler, Rob
Zholtok, Sergei
Zidlicky, Marek
Zzzzzzzzsmith, Frank

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