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Anaheim Ducks Gameday: A Haiku

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Everything sucks.

It's bad. Photo credit
It's bad. Photo credit
Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Oh god, it happened;

The cold hand of regression

grips without mercy.

Next Game

Anaheim Ducks
@ Chicago Blackhawks

Friday, Mar 29, 2013, 5:30 PM PDT
United Center
Buy some Anaheim Ducks Tickets because they're sure to be cheap and available now that the team has completely forgotten how to play. Oh god won't you please buy some tickets? How are we supposed to afford those contracts we just handed out? Is anybody reading this? Why isn't anybody helping?

Complete Coverage >

Gameday preditcion: We all wake up, it was just a dream. We groggily wipe the sleep from our eyes. We get out of bed and check the date... Why, it's only March 22, and the Ducks will play the Red Wings tonight. We beat them handidly, and this whole nightmare never even starts. There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.