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Circle of Jerks 3: Dunn on Meg

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If BoC is a jerkin', don't come a lurkin'

Well, we got all oiled up for another round of ol' Circle of Jerks, and this time I got to ask Dr. Megalodon Q. Pennyfeathers Esq. III some questions. This is the third, and likely greatest, installment of CoJ much like Return of the Jedi or the third Godfather. If for whatever reason you feel compelled to read about jerkin' circles of the past, here you go.

Anyways, it's time to put a jerk in Meg's day...

1. Now that the trade deadline passed and the Sharks became super-chodes via the Torres effect, is there anyone on the Sharks roster that you are surprised they didn't trade away, or that you at least wanted to be traded? What about someone that you would have liked to have traded for instead of the human hemorrhoid?

I was pleasantly surprised that the Sharks didn't trade away Dan Boyle. I'm not ready to see what the team can do without him just yet. There's nobody left on the team that I really wanted to see traded away - Doug Wilson got rid of all the obvious dead weight, so that's nice.

Like most Sharks fans I was really excited about the rumor that had Sean Couturier coming to the Sharks from Philadelphia in exchange for Ryane Clowe and some other stuff, and that obviously would have been better than adding Raffi Torres, but I never really believed that was a real possibility, so wasn't that disappointed when it didn't happen.

2. If the Sharks were to all of a sudden be leapfrogged in the standings by a good portion of the teams in the western conference. and subsequently were out of contention for the playoffs, which team would you want to have take their spot in the post-season, assuming that St. Louis, Chicago, Anaheim, L.A., Detroit, Vancouver, and Minnesota are already in? This is a hypothetical, so don't get all pissy like Jer did last time we did one of these when I said the Ducks' defense sucked.

I would never get pissy if you said the Ducks' defense sucks. It DOES suck!

If the Sharks had to miss the playoffs, I would want the Edmonton Oilers to take their place. The Oilers are an exciting team to watch and they have a strong online fanbase that would make for good reading during the playoffs.

3. Recently those gonad danish Duck fans have been acting like even bigger dip shits then normal. They don't take chirping well, and aren't very good at it themselves. If you were hired to be an asshole coach for the Ducks' fanbase, what would be the biggest bit of advice you would give to that group of degenerate cow fuckers?

They're just the worst, aren't they?

Ducks fans need to learn to laugh at themselves. I don't know when they lost this ability, maybe it was a consequence of their Stanley Cup or something, but a lot of them are way too serious and sensitive for their own good. If people know they can get a rise out of you with shit-talking, then you'll become their favorite target. Kings fans were beaten down by decades of failure, so learned a long time ago not to care what people say about them. Ducks fans are much more likely to try and fight back. That's why it is way more fun to make fun of the Ducks and Ducks fans than the Kings and Kings fans.

Take note Duck fans. Important lessons in there. Mostly that years of failure makes one incredibly callous and dickish.