clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Anaheim Ducks Gameday: Hammer Time

New, 29 comments

In which Jer sings the praises of an MC you can't touch.

Oooh, oohh, oohhh ohhh, STOP.
Oooh, oohh, oohhh ohhh, STOP.
Hammer Time.

Next Game

Anaheim Ducks
@ Los Angeles Kings

Saturday, Apr 13, 2013, 8:00 PM PDT

Complete Coverage >

It's another Battle of California event today, as the Ducks face the Kings for the last time this season (before any possible playoff matchups). As is tradition, Dunn and I have picked a divisive issue to debate, and I once again have chosen the proper side.

Today we argue the age old question "who is the better rapper: Vanilla Ice or MC Hammer." Dunn, being a racist, has chosen Vanilla Ice. I, on the other hand, have chosen the correct answer. MC Hammer, Hammer for short, is clearly superior in all ways.

First of all, he's black, which automatically gives him the upper hand here. He has some credibility right off the bat. He also grew up in Oakland, unlike Vanilla Ice who grew up in Texas and probably to this day has never met a black person.

MC "Hammer" Hammer I think wanted to be a baseball player at some point, and he was nicknamed Hammer because he idolized Hank Aaron or some shit. I don't know I'm too lazy to check any of this on Wikipedia, I saw it on VH1's Behind the Music, probably, so you can trust me.

He later went bankrupt after spending all of his money on Lexuses (Lexi?) and record label start-ups and handouts to family, which is pretty awesome, then became a Christian minister teaching people that money isn't everything, which is way less awesome and I guess is a point in Vanilla Ice's favor.

Look, even Vanilla Ice hates Vanilla Ice. He was ashamed of his music...

Meanwhile, Hammy MC knows there is nothing to be ashamed about. Except he probably doesn't wear Hammer pants anymore. He should definitely be ashamed of those.

Wait, what the fuck is this...

Oh god, Hammer teamed up with Psy to produce an authorized Gangnam/2 Legit 2 Quit mashup? Okay fuck this guy. I'm done here.

Gameday Predition: We officially clinched our playoff spot last night, which means we can play like shit the whole rest of the season. We started early on Wednesday anyway.