Los Angeles Kings Gameday: Farewell, Dallas

This game today marks the last time the Los Angeles Kings will face the Dallas Stars as division rivals. This is a momentous occasion. Yet I cannot fully revel in it. I had originally planned on doing another scathing story insulting the Stars, Texas, etc. I had been saving it for this game. But then half the state of Texas had to explode, and frankly, pushing that story live just didn't feel right. But ah, what the hell, why not?

God dammit, Dallas I really wanted to make fun of you jerks, but noooooooooooooo. Half of your state blows up and all of a sudden I feel bad for Texans. So now I can’t make fun of you as you run off to the Central Conference, or Midwest Division, or Flyover Bracket, whatever. I had a really long story from my high school hockey team days but now no one gets to read it because I feel that if I ran it, I’d be in deep shit. It’s like a sequel ready for release, but then the studio pulls the plug on it because some jerk did something to where the whole premise is offensive. I probably shouldn’t even be running this. Fuck. Whatever, enjoy the early golf. I’ll make fun of you next time. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Dallas sucks. Go Kings!

[Story redacted]

The Kings picked up two points, and continue to at least work on securing a playoff spot, though two more here (at the time of writing this) would just about do it. The Kings have not fared well against Dallas this season, and have looked sloppy lately despite the points picked up consecutively. Still, with a win over Columbus that should offer some more momentum, which has dropped off, hopefully the possession and scoring chance numbers improve to their astronomical levels tonight that the Kings had going earlier on this season.

The Stars, against all reasoning, have improved after ditching Derek Roy and Jaromir Jagr, and stand a chance to see hockey in May. However they are running out of time to snag a post-season seed. If we are lucky, they play with their heads up their Garbutts, and the Kings coast. It would be nice to put a little pressure on the Ducks for the division lead, but yeah, probably not happening with Anaheim playing two games against Edmonton while L.A. draws Minnesota and Detroit, who are fighting for their playoff lives, along with the Stars today.

Prediction: Next time Dallas...Just you wait...